Thursday: Pop Shots
Amy's on the wagon, Kelly's on the p*ss and J Lo's in need of a proper education...
Top of the bill this week is the ground breaking, headline cracking front page shock story that Amy Winehouse is remaining SOBER at this year's Brits!
What are we gonna do! No drunken speeches, no slurred thank-yous or @*!&%? foul language, no bleary-eyed, silky smooth songstress falling off the stage - what's left for the papers to write about?
But ... no ... wait a minute! Hold the press " she said 'no alcohol' until after she'd finished singing. Phew! Better line them up for when she steps off stage then.
Should she leap from the wagon with all the gusto we'd expect of her, she'd do well to learn from Kelly Jones, the gravel voiced singer from Stereophonics who was recently hauled off for a stern talking to after he was caught peeing in the street.
According to today's Sun the Welsh rocker, whose new solo album 'Only The Names Have Been Changed' recently topped the iTunes chart, was told by the London bobby that the people of Camden would not appreciate him urinating in their streets.
"I know," said Jones, "That's why I live in Fulham!" - where, presumably, the locals just can't get enough of the real life drunken fountain!
So this weekend watch out for an army of Camden's finest answering the call of nature on the swanky Fulham Road.
A rocker who's probably got enough money to have a toilet following him everywhere he goes is Maggie May's fella, Rod Stewart.
Stewart is being paid a cool $1million dollars for just an hour's work!
The sultry Scott, 62, is getting the cash to sing at a New York billionaire's party.
Guests at the 2.5 million shin-dig include NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg and former US Secretary of State Colin Powell.
It does make you wonder what these people spend all their money on! If Rod's short of a few ideas might we suggest he buy some lessons on saving the world for pop diva J. Lo.
Alongside Cuban bread and Skittles (the sweets, though, she's not going bowling) demanded on her latest rider, the high maintenance Latin lover-girl has demanded that all lightbulbs in her dressing rooms from now on be replaced with brand new ones.
Maybe she's a girl who's in need of a bit of Eric Prydz's Proper Education