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Annie

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10 Tough Guy Orphans That Annie Took All The Attention Away From

Before you hit the cinema to see the new Annie movie, spare a thought for these parentless fellas...

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Wednesday, December 24, 2014 - 22:14

By Portis Wasp

 Annie’s made a lot of money from serving us an unapologetic slice of orphantude over the years, but what about the famous boy orphans who just... well, got on with it? With the remake of Annie hitting the big screen this month, we felt duty bound to shine a light on 10 tough guy orphans that Annie has taken all the attention away from, yet again! A lack of parentals from an early age doesn’t mean you can’t achieve greatness, and these 10 tough guys have done just that, without ever being rescued by Will Stacks. 

 

Tarzan

We shouldn’t really compare the two, but saving Sandy from the dog catcher (whilst totally admirable) really isn’t the same as saving all of the animal kingdom from extinction. Is it?

 

Oliver Twist

So you think you had it bad with Miss Hannigan, Annie?  Poor Oliver had to kick it with Fagin and his band of scoundrels for most of his miserable adolescence. Consider Yourself blessed.

 

Magneto

So Annie moved people in the streets with her self-penned ballad 'Tomorrow' - try moving a football stadium with only your mind, honey!

 

Luke Skywalker

Sure it may sound like a 'Hard Knock Life' having to scrub floors all day, but have you ever tried to scrub the memory of killing your father out of your head? The force ain’t with you that much, is it Annie?

 

Harry Potter

You may have cast a spell on the world, Annie, but Harry casts spells on a regular basis to save the world from evil. 

 

Jack Dawson (Titanic)

It’s not like we’re trying to guilt you Annie, but this young man who was selfless enough to save the life of a lady who was too selfish to budge over a little bit for him will never get to see ‘Tomorrow’. Not ever.

 

James Bond

So Annie threw a party in her mansion for all the kids in the orphanage - you go Glen Coco! But has she ever thrown herself off something impossibly tall to save the world?! James does it all the time.

 

Superman

So you sang for the president one time, Annie. Snaps for you! Reminds us of that one time Superman saved Air Force One from crashing and flew the plane to safety using only one hand.

 

Prince Dastan

Long hair, don’t care!  From street urchin to Prince of Persia, Dastan didn’t let his basic start in life stop him from finding a treasure on the street that would change his life forever.

 

Batman

Poor Bruce Wayne doesn’t have anyone, but he’s classy enough to not force Alfred to sing and dance for him while he flits about the manor.

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