5 Things You Can't Do If You Own An iPhone 6
Apparently the word’s most sought-after gadget is more of a hindrance than a help...
By Tamara Roper
Despite only being available to buy for a few days, the iPhone 6 has been gathering its share of neggy criticism, with one user even ‘fixing’ his by grinding the annoying protruding camera off with heavy machinery.
Then there are the tales of the gadget bending in the pockets of skinny jean-wearing gentlemen, which begs the question, what else can you now NOT do as an iPhone 6 user?
Answer:
Throw Yourself Into An Industrial Food Processor
iPhone 6 + blender = not tasty
Go Deep Sea Diving
iPhone 6 warranty doesn’t cover water damage.
Jump Into A Bonfire
Thought your iPhone 6 was inflammable? WRONG.
Use It As A Flack Jacket/Bullet Proof Vest
Contrary to popular opinion, the iPhone 6 is neither bullet nor stab-proof.
Be An Emo
Possibly the most relevant, as #bendgate continues to worry skinny jean wearers worldwide. After reports have started surfacing of iPhone 6s moulding to the shape of users’ thighs, hipsters and emos need to start reconsidering how tight they wear their trousers.
Pour a little salt, we were never here
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer
Tell my love to wreck it all
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Right at the moment, this order's tall
And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind
And in the morning, I'll be with you
But it will be a different kind
'Cause I'll be holding all the tickets
And you'll be owning all the fines
Come on skinny love, what happened here?
Suckle on the hope in light brassiere
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Sullen load is full, so slow on the split
And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind
And now, all your love is wasted
Then who the hell was I?
'Cause now I'm breaking at the bridges
And at the end of all your lies
Who will love you?
Who will fight?
And who will fall far behind?
Come on skinny love
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my