MTV Review: Blended
Sandler and Barrymore take their little animals on safari in this comedy adventure...
UK Release Date: May 23
Running Time: 117 minutes
Director: Frank Coraci
Plot: Young frump and “progressive” mum (sorry – “mom”), Lauren (Barrymore) has a divorcee date from Hell with monosyllabic man-child and windowed father of three, Jim (Sandler.) Through a series of curiously convenient events both families fly to South Africa to enjoy an all-inclusive holiday (sorry – “vacation”) at a swanky pants (actual “underpants” not “trousers) safari resort especially for blended families. Despite Lauren and Jim’s apparent distaste for each other a serious of curiously convenient events ensures that they soon develop feelings for one another… Hi-jinx, mishaps, love and happy endings ensue; obviously - this is Hollywood! (even if this movie is set in a slightly stereotyped South Africa.)
Best Scene: Probably… when Lauren very nearly gets kebabed on a rhino’s horn after a paragliding mishap that would definitely make the greatest (and most sore) You’ve Been Framed Moments of 2014.
Best One Liner: Being the perfect mum mom (thank you!) Lauren is assisting Jim’s youngest daughter in the toilet (sorry – “the can”) when she confesses after some careful paperwork from Lauren: “[Jim] He’s a good Dad. He just doesn’t have a vagina.” Or does he…? (Actually he doesn’t.)
Date Movie or Mate Movie: This is such a “date” movie your elderly Grandma could eat it at Christmas with a little wooden trident and then spend the rest of Christmas Eve on “the can” struggling with her own paperwork (and I don’t mean wrapping up the same jigsaw puzzle she presented you with from the previous Christmas.)
Scene Stealer: When tomboy, Larry (Jim’s oldest daughter) who is obviously already a beautiful young girl in a bad wig and baggy tracksuit gets a makeover from her fairy Godmother (Lauren.) She sashays her way to the dinner table with auburn extensions flowing and push-up bra… pushing up her teenage bosom much to the astonishment of the all-inclusive buffet diners and to the horror of protective dad, Jim. His daughter’s gone got grown up, y’all.
WTF Moment: Aren’t tampons bloody hilarious? Jim doesn’t think so when he acts like an amused teenage boy when he’s sent to the shop (sorry – “store”) to buy his “monsterating” daughter, Larry some. Because he’s a man he obviously picks the wrong pack instead choosing ones that Busta Rhymes would use (Heavy flow, get it? Yeah? Hilarious tampon gag here…)
Summary: Before I embarked on this summer comedy I didn’t know what “blended” was. Initially I thought it was something watercolour (sorry – “watercolor”) artists and smoothie makers did. Alas not, for the movies taught me something. Blended actually means the “conscious coupling” of a mommy and daddy who have baggage from previous marriages (baggage being children.) This movie taught me something else – which I kind of already knew: Adam Sandler just plays Adam Sandler in every movie he’s ever been in and Drew Barrymore never appears to age. Despite being reunited with Wedding Singer director, Corcai there is about as much chemistry between the two leads as a Creationist school’s science syllabus. Just wooden flirting and furtive gazing. There are some OK LOL moments – Barrymore’s “masturbator” son’s cheeky post-exploring-himself grins being one moment. There are also some less LOL moments - a monkey band? Blended isn’t an intelligent comedy, but it’s quite funny in parts. Then it’s not trying to be a brainbox Woody Allen comedy (early Allen; not his WTF recent work) just a paint-by-numbers multiplex feel-good comedy which in parts isn’t blended very well and often goes over the lines into cliché.
By Michael Currell @mtvuk