Quitting Your Job With A Little Help From The Internet

By Tamara Roper

Charlo Greene disappeared in a not so metaphorical puff of smoke when, live on air, she walked out of her job as a news reporter. “F**k it,” the queen of stoner sass declared as, like Batman removing his mask, she revealed herself to be the President of the Alaska Cannabis Club.

Explaining that her job had led her to tire of the dirty tactics of politicans, Charlo claimed that she had no choice but to quit, announcing that she'd be "focussing her energies" on sailing the good ship green.

Charlo’s stunt has not only brought the eyes of the internet to her controversial cause, but it’s also given every itchy-footed clock-watcher some serious food for thought. ‘If she can, why can’t I?!’ But of course you can! With the help of these trusty game changers, you too can be the next ex-employee of the month. Behold, MTV’s guide to quitting your job in Charlo style.

Throw Up Some Hefty Comparisons

Your boss is trying to make you stay with meaningless platitudes. They’re comparing your potential to JFK post 1964 and saying that a promotion/pay rise/endless ream of holiday is around the corner. NONSENSE. Pick out your favourite dead dictator and slap 'em with it, making sure your entire office hears. Then flounce out, and look back only to steal that stapler you've always fancied.

Make Them Realise What They're Missing

When Marina Shifrin realised she hated her job, she didn’t struggle on in silence until settling seemed like a viable option. Grouping every fibre of sass in her body, Shifrin booty rolled her way out of the office to the tune of ‘Gone’ by Kanye West, balancing quality and quantity with her ‘I Quit’ interpretative dance video.

Be Cool Baby, Be Cool

Steady now. You’ve slung the mud, don’t go and roll in it. You still want your mates to like you and that fast-gained respect will drain quickly if you turn into an A-grade ignoramus. Don't bother copying this news presenter, who could have done with a muzzle fitting before getting sacked. Your shots have been fired, now get out of there before the dust settles.

If All Else Fails, Down The Hatch

Want to quit but haven’t got the bottle? Hit the bottle! Paula White, BBC Radio Stoke's resident legend, was taken off air half an hour before the end of her last show for supposedly "feeling unwell", which we understand is code for 'can't feel her face anymore'.