The Most Bonkers Movies At The Cannes FIlm Festival 2016

Arlo The Burping Pig - This looks like the perfect movie - it’s a big gassy yes from us. Can we get ‘GETTING PIGGY WITH IT’ on a T-shirt?

Robo-Dog Unleashed - So as far as I can make out this is a sequel to ‘Robo-Dog’. The first and only review I find of this online is titled ‘Robo-dog contaminates the very air it breathes’.

Wing Men - Your friend’s dad with a people carrier: The movie.

Kung Fu Yoga - Jackie Chan has earned the right to make whatever the f*ck he wants. And clearly he wants to take it a bit easier now.

Red Riding Hood - So 'Batman v Superman' hasn’t done the best things for Henry Cavill… JK! This was made in 2006. And fun fact, also stars Joey Fatone as the big bad wolf!

Celestial Camel - This film’s supposed to be an actual touching animal flick. But that poster though. THAT POSTER.

Raiders of the lost Shark - How else can we ride on that sweet Sharknado wave? Party on dudes.

Shark Exorcist - OK, the Sharknado thing’s not dead yet after all. Yes yes yes yes yes yes.

Pipe Dream - Everything about this font. Everything.

A Nail Clipper's Romance - Bio: “After a series of bad relationships, a guy finally meets his true love - Emily. Everything is perfect until she confesses to him she is a "nail clipper monster", a special subtype of humans that eats nail clippers"

Kung Food - Not a hilarious Asian takeaway name, but a Chinese animated movie. Winner of the *Best Pun of Cannes 2016* award (not a real award).

Go Tennis - I’m picturing a Dreamcast game with the runtime of the movie ‘Planes’. Hmm.

Last Day Of School - Any movie that needs to write ‘a hilarious comedy film’ as its tagline might not be protesting too much. The plot features some guys who fail their exams and must ‘perform sexy tasks’ for their teacher in order to graduate.

The Callback Queen - He’s Hollywood!

The Last Straw - Which Xmas puns haven’t been used yet? Erm… straw? Like in the stable? Guys?

Dragon Warriors - So THAT’S what James Marsters – aka Spike from Buffy – is up to now. Huh.

Johnny Mnemonic - How is this still on sale?

Red Dog - What war movie haven’t we seen yet? THE DOG WAR MOVIE.