'Is Justin Bieber A Lizard?' And More Weird AF Celebrity Conspiracy Theories
So, here’s something weird that’s in the news today. Justin Bieber – y’know, world famous superstar multi millionaire bad boy popstar Justin Bieber?. Also a secret lizard man, apparently.
An actual, real life news story reported today that Justin Bieber accidentally revealed himself to be a giant reptile in front of hundreds of fans, who witnessed the fairly alarming transformation at an airport in Perth. COOL.Basically, the resurgence of an old (and super weird) conspiracy theory is all down to an article ALLEGEDLY published (and then quickly taken down) on Perth Now, under the headline “Hundreds Of Fans Claim They Saw Justin Bieber Turn Into Giant Reptile”.
Either way, the story has spread like wildfire across the internet, with NeonNettle.com claiming that, according to "multiple accounts", Alizustin (that's Lizard Justin to you and I) had "greenish-brown claws" and "turd-coloured scales”, while others say Alizustin took "full female reptilian form.”
Good to hear he’s breaking gender boundaries as well as reptilian boundaries.ANYWAY, if this isn't an excuse to spend an afternoon looking at truly mental celebrity conspiracy theories, we don't know what is.
Here's some of the best ones which are guaranteed to either blow your mind, or make you never want to go on the internet again.
1. Katy Perry is a murdered beauty pageant queenIn arguably one of the slightly more convincing celeb conspiracy theories - purely because they have a strong facial resemblance - some people believe that the death of famous murdered child beauty queen JonBenét Ramsey was actually a hoax. And as if that's not enough of a bombshell - they go on to claim that Katy Perry, as in Katy Perry, is the grown-up JonBenét in disguise. Gulp.
The popular (but y'know, fairly tasteless) theory uses everything from eyebrows to singing voice to claim the possibility, and even argues that mother Patsy Ramsey - who died in 2006 - simply lost weight to become Katy's mother, while father John shaved his head to become KP's bald dad. Right.
2. Avril Lavigne actually died in 2003Well this is errr... Complicated (wahey). Thanks tosome intense investigation from a Brazilian fan site, some Avril fans believe that the real Avril died shortly after the release of her Let Go album, and was slyly replaced by a lookalike so as not to lose out on any earnings from her popularity. Trisky little record label bosses.
Apparently the fact that she looks slightly different over a substantial period of years, and the way she's changed her sound to a more poppy vibe thesedays is all the proof you need for this one. SCIENCE.
3. Beyonce's never been pregnantThis theory probably lost a fair bit of traction when Bey announced that she was pregnant for the second time - and with twins, just as an extra middle finger to the theory - but apparently Beyoncé was never physically pregnant herself with Blue Ivy. Hmm.
Theorists say she used a surrogat so as not to ruin her figure, and instead wore a fake pregnancy belly the whole time. One TV appearance in particular helped give this cray-cray conspiracy some traction, as her belly/clothing kind of deflated as she sat down. Meh.
4. Eleanor Calder has a secret twinAt the height of the One Direction fandom's internet regin, there was um... a LOT of conspiracy theories floating round. Some gained more ground than others (let's not forget the frenzy that was Louis Tomlinson's 'fake baby', but one of the most iconic theories from the early 1D era has got to be the idea that Louis' girlfriend Eleanor Calder was actually one half of a secret twin operation.
Yep, apparently she wasn't just Eleanor. She was Eleanor of Eleanor and Tina, two twin sisters with very slight facial differences who were taking it in turns for public appearances. Of course, it was all alleged to be one big cover up for Larry Stylinson, because a 1D conspiracy aint a 1D conspiracy with some form of tangled Larry-related web.
5. Keanu Reeves is immortalMaybe he's just got one of those faces that looks like everyone, but internet folk have for years picked up on the fact that there's been a bunch of people throughout history who all look exactly like Keanu Reeves.
The theory surrounding the actor reckons that he's actually been an immortal, undead dude since around the year 748, and has popped up in time as a doctor, a painter, and even a French king. Also, he’s donated a ton of money, saying: “Money is the last thing I think about. I could live on what I have already made for the next few centuries.” SUSPICIOUS. KeanuIsImmortal.com (for real) is worth a look.
6. And Nicholas Cage is a vampireOn a similar note, did you know that Nicholas Cage is also some form of immortal, undead vampire type dude? Also rocking a handful of historical dopplegangers, Nicholas has mainly been accused of being a time travelling gentleman from the Civil War era, but the fact he's played an immortal bloodsucking vampire in Vampire's Kiss has also raised a few eyebrows.
This particular celeb theory is SO popular that Nicholas has actually been asked about it in interviews, but has unfortunately denied any truth in the matter. But that's EXACTLY what a time travelling immortal undead vampire would say, isn't it?
7. Taylor Swift's secretly a Satanic cult leaderYou might think Swifty's the epitome of sugar, spice and everything nice, but HOLD UP ONE SECOND. Some people think she bears an uncanny resemblance to Zeena LaVey—the daughter of Anton LaVey, who founded the Church of Satan in 1966. Ah, we can see where this is going.
The theory claims that Taylor is in fact the Illuminati clone of Zeena. Okay, maybe we didn't know where that was going. The whole thing is reinforced by the fact that Zeena left her father's church in 1990, aka. one year after the musician was born. GASP.
8. Khloe Kardashian isn't actually a KardashianFor years, fans who've been keeping up with the Kardashians have wondered whether they might have missed a fairly vital moment - does Khloe Kardashian have a different father to the rest of her sisters? Is she technically not really a Kardashian? According to the conspiracy theory, Koko, Robert Kardashan's youngest daughter, is actually O.J.'s child, under the assumption being that he and Kris Jenner had an affair.
While the Kardashian family have denied the whole thing, the rumors continue to this day thanks to OJ reportedly expressing a belief in the claim, and Khloe's own personal request for a paternity test behind the scenes. Crikey.
9. Lorde is secretly decades older than we all thinkAnyone who knows anything vague about music knows that Lorde's niche is the fact that she's a teenage musical sensation - she made her debut with 'Royals' when she was just 16 years old. But, according to those pesky theorists who're at it again, she's not exactly your average teenager. She might actually be a whole lot older than any of us were suspecting, if her interview answers are anything to go by.
“Hi, I’m Ella,” she deadpanned to Vanity Fair at a pre-Grammys party, “And I’m actually 45.”
And then there was that time she told Rookie Mag: “[The Virgin Suicides] really resonated with me as a teenager... I mean, I am still a teenager.”
So there you go. All the proof that you need that we probably shouldn't have the internet anymore, it does bad things to people.
Words by Lucy Wood
And now you'll never be the same again, so you'd better have a watch of 7 celebs who got SUPER NAKED on social media to feel better.