Skip to main content
  • News
    • MTV News
    • Trending News
    • Videos & Interviews
    • Taylor Swift
    • Kim Kardashian
  • Music
    • Music Highlights
    • Music Videos
    • Charts
    • Playlists
    • EMAs
    • MTV PUSH
    • Artists
  • Shows
    • Latest Shows
    • The Charlotte Show
    • Geordie Shore
    • Ex on the Beach
    • Just Tattoo Of Us
    • Teen Mom UK
    • The Royal World
  • Movies
    • Movies Highlights
    • New Movies Coming Soon
    • Videos & Interviews
    • Trailers
    • Moana
  • Travel
    • Videos
  • Style
  • Life
    • Life
    • MTV Breaks
    • Sex
    • WTF
    • SRS
    • Travel
    • Fitness
    • Generation Change
  • Pictures
  • Win
  • MTV Play
  • TV Guide
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Search
  • Pictures
  • Win
  • MTV Play
  • TV Guide
Home
  • News
    • MTV News
    • Trending News
    • Videos & Interviews
    • Taylor Swift
    • Kim Kardashian
  • Music
    • Music Highlights
    • Music Videos
    • Charts
    • Playlists
    • EMAs
    • MTV PUSH
    • Artists
  • Shows
    • Latest Shows
    • The Charlotte Show
    • Geordie Shore
    • Ex on the Beach
    • Just Tattoo Of Us
    • Teen Mom UK
    • The Royal World
  • Movies
    • Movies Highlights
    • New Movies Coming Soon
    • Videos & Interviews
    • Trailers
    • Moana
  • Travel
    • Videos
  • Style
  • Life
    • Life
    • MTV Breaks
    • Sex
    • WTF
    • SRS
    • Travel
    • Fitness
    • Generation Change
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Search

Christmas

  • Main
  • Videos
  • Pictures
  • News

A 10-Step Guide To Having The World’s Most Basic Christmas

Being unique is overrated.

Linds Foley
  • Share to Facebook
  • Tweet to Twitter
  • Share to Google plus
Wednesday, December 13, 2017 - 12:43

Sure there are times for being experimental, kooky and dyeing your hair a violent shade of orange. But Christmas is not one of those times, for if there is any time of year in which being an absolute basic b*tch is most acceptable, it’s the yuletide season.

Because Mary did not go through a 12-hour labour in that freezing cold stable so you could eat seared sea bass amid the warm glow of a white, fibre-optic Christmas tree. She did it so you could eat turkey for every single meal until you do a little gag when anyone mentions the word ‘white meat’. 

 

So raise your Red Cup in the air and give in to your inner basic with a 10-step guide for the world’s most average December 25th. 

Step #1 – Kick off the festive season with a Christmas coffee the size of your face

Getty

Because nothing announces you are feeling the #festivecheer better than a sugar induced headache and a red cup selfie posted to each and every social media platform.  

Step #2 – Spend all your savings on a 3 for 2 gift set haul for your nearest and dearest

Getty

Yes you love them, but perhaps not quite as much as you love a good BOGOF. 

Step #3 – Make the annual pilgrimage to Winter Wonderland

Nickelodeon

Nothing puts you in the Christmas mood better than spending £25 on a festive carved wooden ornament after several mulled wines. 

Step #4 – Spend a good week planning your Christmas day outfit

MTV

Look, you might be spending the day in your own home with no one except your immediate family and your legally blind Great Aunt Susan for company, but that’s not going to stop you wearing sequins, heels and fake lashes. 

This is Jesus’s big day we’re talking about.

Step #5 – Spam everyone you know with the baby deer filter on Snapchat

MTV

As a great philosopher once said, is it even December if you don’t send a daily vid to everyone you know of yourself lip syncing to All I Want For Christmas using the baby deer filter?

Step #6 – Eat your weight in Quality Street in one sitting

Getty

You hate Orange Creams as much as literally every other person ever, but it absolutely isn’t going to stop you from eating them when they are the only scrap of chocolate left in the house. 

Step #7 – Purchase a comedy Christmas knit

Channel 5

Pretty sure you’’ be shunned by general society if you aren’t wearing one for at least 67% of December. 

Step #8 – Realise that everything on your Christmas list is rose gold

MTV

What can you say, you know what you like and you’re sticking with it. 

Step #9 – Watch Love Actually

Getty

And consider dumping your SO for not treating you half as romantically as Hugh Grant would’ve done this year. Then realise you’d be alone for New Year and immediately decide to reconsider this plan until at least January 1st. 

Step #10 – Suggest you and your family play a board game 

MTV

Before quickly remembering that your dad and Uncle Joe still aren’t talking from *that* 2007 game of Monopoly either and scrap it in favour of watching Love Actually. Again.

Step #11 – Be secretly glad that it’s all over for another year

Getty

It was fun but all that turkey and you’re ready to sleep for at least 100 years. 

Latest News

Get To Know - M-22
Get To Know: M-22
Get To Know - ENNY
Get To Know: ENNY
Get To Know - James Smith
Get To Know: James Smith
Dua Lipa
2021 BRITs Nominations: Dua Lipa, Arlo Parks, Celeste, BTS & More Up For Awards
Get To Know - Cody Frost
Get To Know: Cody Frost
Get Your Fan Questions In For AJ Tracey!
Get To Know - Sam Fischer
Get To Know: Sam Fischer
Young People Aged 18-24 Are Some Of The Most Affected By Sleep Deprivation In The UK[1]
Get To Know - Master Peace
Get To Know: Master Peace
5 Female Activists Using Their Voice To Fight For Gender Equality
Get To Know - Priya Ragu
Get To Know: Priya Ragu
Get To Know - KIRBY
Get To Know: KIRBY
Get To Know - Boy Pablo
Get To Know: boy pablo
Get To Know - Zoe Wees
Get To Know: Zoe Wees
Get To Know - Joshua Bassett
Get To Know: Joshua Bassett
Nathan Dawe - MTV PUSH UK & IRE 2021
Nathan Dawe Wins MTV PUSH UK & IRE 2021!
Griff - MTV PUSH UK & IRE 2021
Griff Talks “Inspirational” Taylor Swift, Lorde & More
Pa Salieu - MTV PUSH UK & IRE 2021
Pa Salieu Won't Be Defined By Genre: ‘I Can Do Whatever I Want’
Bree Runway - MTV PUSH UK & IRE 2021
Bree Runway: 'Can You Imagine How Crazy I’m About To Go In 2021?'
Inhaler - MTV PUSH UK & IRE 2021
Inhaler: ‘We Were A Really Bad Heavy Metal Band For A While’

More From Christmas

Animal Crossing
6 Of The Best Games To Make You Feel Christmassy Feels
The Princess Switch
11 Of The Best Christmas Movies To Watch On Netflix
A Christmas Prince 2
19 LOL Moments From A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding
Home Alone
5 Amazing Live Movie Concerts To See This Christmas
John Legend - Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas - Music Video
John Legend
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
Christmas GIF
What To Buy Them For Christmas Based On How Long You've Been Dating
9 Memes You'll Get If You're Already Fully Obsessed With Christmas
10 Ways To Un-Basic The Most Basic Christmas Gifts
7 Classic Christmas Movies Worth Revisiting This Holiday Season
Gift Ideas For Girlfriends This Christmas
25 Christmas Gift Ideas Under £25
Tech Gifts For Christmas
Games
The Best Tech Christmas Gift Ideas For 2018

Trending Articles

Charli D’Amelio Sets The Record Straight About A Fake “Leaked” Picture Online
21 Types Of People You'll Find In Every Friendship Group
10 Things Your Heartbroken Friend Needs To Hear
18 Most Naked Of Naked Moments To Have Ever Hit Geordie Shore
Celebrity
10 Celebrities Who Have Some Seriously Kinky Sex Likes In The Bedroom
sophie ksai
Sophie Kasaei Opens Up About Joel Corry Split And It's Absolutely Brutal
13 Questions You've Always Wanted To Ask A Porn Star
  • Contact Us
  • Access Services
  • Website Terms
  • Mobile Terms
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookie Policy
  • MTV Jobs
  • MTV Press
  • Anti-Slavery
  • Global Tax Policy Statement
Hit us with some keywords!