The Creepiest Disney Fan Fiction We Could Find On The Internet
Disney is literally the stuff our childhood memories are made of. From Cinderella's magical princessification, to Ariel and Eric's delightful love story and Elsa's exciting journey to empowerment, Disney films are full of dreams.
But in the deepest, darkest corners of the internet, some people have decided to take our prescious song-filled fantasies and RUIN THEM with sex and violence and... well... you'll see. Much as we love a bit of well penned fan fiction, there's definitely such a thing as taking it too far.
Don't believe us? Here are the scariest, most disturbing examples of Disney fanfic we could find...
(Warning: a lot of this is very NSFW. Sorry about that.)
Stitch & Toothless
The Story: It makes sense to shove Stitch and Toothless into a story together. After all, they’re both super-cute sidekicks, they’ve both been drawn as adorably as possible, and they’re both totally tough badasses. What probably doesn’t make as much sense is forcing them have sex with each other because what?
The story starts with Stitch carrying a bunch of chocolates. Toothless throws a playful fireball at his friend (?!) only to melt the chocolate, turning it into a delicious treat. Toothless starts licking it off Stitch… and then things get freaky AF.
Creepiest Quote We Can Actually Print: “The next lap moves a little lower, and he can hear the big beast. He’d swear the thing was purring as it cleaned up all that chocolate, as that tongue found his crotch Stitch starts to moan and squirm.”
Don’t get us wrong, there’s nothing creepy about cunnilingus. Just, you know, we’d rather it wasn’t performed by a dragon on a little blue alien if that’s cool with you.
Read it if you dare: An Experimental Encounter - Toothless and Stitch
Ariel & Ursula
The Story: Don’t worry guys, this one isn’t super creepy - it opens with the announcement "Ariel's age has been changed to eighteen to suit the storyline and Ursula will not be recognised as Ariel's aunt," because obviously that makes everything okay.
It expands on the genius high concept that when ex-mermaid Ariel got legs instead of a tail she also received a vagina, because of course it does.
Creepiest Quote We Can Actually Print: “Ursula and her eels slithered into Ariel's line of vision. The Cecaelia ran her tongue over her lush ruby lips and white teeth, grey eyes glimmering hungrily. ‘Instead of three days, you shall have three weeks in exchange for your virginal flower. Now, how does that sound?’”
It’s not the best chat up line we’ve ever heard Ursula, if we’re being honest.
Read it if you dare: The Bubble
Wall-E & Eve
The Story: Wall-E and Eve, one of the purest love stories ever put out by Disney / Pixar. Don’t worry, there isn’t anyone out there who’s written a story about Wall-E discovering a discarded porno, then deciding to act it out on his robot sweetheart. Oh, hang on…
Creepiest Quote We Can Actually Print: “B-Back… D-door… S***s… Nine,’ Wall-E sounded out loud.” UGH.
Read it if you dare: Mating 101: A Guide To Robot Love
Remy & Linguini
The Story: Thankfully this one doesn’t feature any full-on sex between a human and a rat, but it does allude to one giving the other an orgasm, which is bad enough. The story ends with Remy the rat wondering if he’s in love with Linguini the human and now we need a shower.
Creepiest Quote We Can Actually Print: “Human fingers came down and grazed Remy’s belly fur lightly. At first, it didn’t seem much of anything, almost feeling nice, like a little pet. The grazing picked up in speed and endurance. The strange feeling was soon replaced with something else…”
Read it if you dare: Pensee Terrible
Belle & The French Revolution
The Story: Not all creepy Disney stories are sexual, some of them are weirdly violent instead. Take this, in which Belle never actually gets to meet the Beast and is instead beheaded because her story happens to take place during the French revolution or something. Poetry.
Creepiest Quote We Can Actually Print: “She never did find out what happened to the Beast. The result of her trial was a foregone conclusion. Madame Guillotine had no love for happy endings.”
Read it if you dare: Seven For A Secret
By Sam Ashurst
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