Vicky Pattison: “The Bear Grylls of Ex On The Beach”
From Geordie Shore to Ex On The Beach, Vicky Pattison shares her tips for looking good in a bikini this summer, and exactly how to get over your ex.
“Do I come across like a bit of a knob?” is the first thing Ex On The Beach’s Vicky Pattison asks when she finds out MTV UK have already watched two episodes of the show ahead of its premiere on Tuesday 22nd April. After reassuring the Geordie Shore babe that she seems as well as ever – though there are still six more episodes in which she could change that – we get down to business. Business being how to get over our ex and look our best on the beach, obviously.
MTV UK: Hi Vicky. If you could only have taken three things with you to Ex Island, what would they be, and why?
Vicky Pattison: I had to pay £1000 in excess baggage because I took four suitcases! I took everything and anything, far too much; I was dressing all the girls in the house as well. I’m certainly not into packing light, so I don’t know how I would cope with packing just three items, let me think…
Ok, a really great bikini in a nice vibrant colour. Something functional, but still sexy and shows off the tan, because if I’m stuck on an island I’m gonna be canny brown. A nice cover-up, like a kaftan, something loose and floaty so I can chill like the beach goddess I will be by this point. And a pair of trainers. Flip-flops hinder me if anything. If I’m gonna have to go and catch my own fish and climb rocks to pick coconuts, I’m gonna need trainers with some good f**king grip! I’d be the Bear Grylls of Ex On The Beach.
MTV UK: Make-up on the beach – is it a do or a don’t?
Vicky: If you’re on the telly it’s a do, because no one wants to see me without make-up, full stop. On holiday with the lasses I wouldn’t dare. You’re lucky if I’ll have a slick of Vaseline.
MTV UK: What are your beauty essentials for looking good on the televised beach?
Vicky: Slick of mascara, bit of Vaseline and you’re done really. Sun cream – healthy skin is important. That’s it for me.
MTV UK: Would you fake tan before going on holiday?
Vicky: If I was going somewhere like Ibiza, yeah, because I know I’m not seeing any sun. The only time I’m gonna see the sun is when I go to Ocean Beach through the day or Ushuaia. If I was going a really chilled holiday to the Maldives or Dominican Republic, with a boyfriend, then no. I’d go bare skinned and make the most of it.
MTV UK: What’s the one thing guaranteed to make you feel body confident on the beach?
Vicky: You have to take your time buying a bikini. Bikini shopping for most girls instils fear in our hearts. Sometimes you have to go a size up to avoid that really offensive overhang, d’ya know what I mean? Topshop and River Island do great mix and match bikinis with loads of variety and they look quite expensive even though they’re not. They’re on-trend and really reasonable.
MTV UK: Would we be more likely to find you on a sun lounger or indulging in a game of beach volleyball?
Vicky: Oh f**k that! I don’t like people who do activities on holiday. I can’t abide it. If you want to do activities stay at home; you go on holiday to chill out. I like to lie on the sun lounger, drink cocktails and read a trashy novel. One of Jordan’s, preferably. I can sit there, one eye open, hungover as f**k, barely concentrating and I can get the gist.
MTV UK: If you were going to write a beach read, what would the plot be?
Vicky: Right, a young, sexy girl growing up in Newcastle working the VIP ropes…
MTV UK: Sounds familiar…
Vicky: Hmm, vaguely, where could we have heard it before? On a serious note, my autobiography’s out in July, so I can’t wait to go away this summer and see girls reading it by the pool. It’s gonna feel amazing.
MTV UK: Which female celebrity do you think has a bangin’ beach bod?
Vicky: Michelle Keegan is not human. Queen of the beach she is! No matter where she is or what she’s doing, make-up free, tousled beach hair, tanned skin, effortlessly stunning. And, of course, she’s got the ultimate accessory in Mark Wright. I just think she’s amazing. I’m in love with her.
MTV UK: On that note, which celebrity male would you like to get stranded on a desert island with?
Vicky: Let’s mix it up… Jamie Laing, just because I will beat him in the tan-off. He’s a very pale chap. Milkybar Kid. I do love Jamie and Proudlock.
MTV UK: What’s your top tip for getting over an ex?
Vicky: I know what you want me to say, but I truly don’t think getting under someone else is conducive to mending a broken heart, I think it’s a really bad idea. When me and Ricci broke up I took myself away out of Newcastle and went to bootcamp down in Norfolk. I was training every day, eating right, focusing on my business and getting a good eight hours sleep every night. He on the other hand, was going out, getting pissed, necking on with random birds and just generally being an insensitive tosser.
To find out what happens when Vicky and Ricci reunite, tune in to Ex On The Beach, every Tuesday night at 10pm on MTV