How To Stop Your Shorts Riding Up Your Vagina And More Summer Style Dilemmas Solved
Because the summer fashion struggle is real
When it's hot outside, it's understandable that all you really want to do is lay in a paddling pool wearing nothing but your pants.
But as it seems unlikely that being naked at work and school will become accepted by general society before this summer's over, there are at least a few things you can do to stop yourself crumbling into a hot and sweaty mess in the mean time.
From boob sweat to denim shorts' intent on giving you a permanent wedgie, here's a few of the biggest summertime style dilemmas solved just for you.
Style crisis #1 - "my favourite short shorts keep disappearing up my vagina."
Those denim shorts might look dreamy on Instagram, but the reality is often that as soon as you move a muscle they start giving you the worst kind of wedgie. You know what we're talking about: the one that cuts off the blood circulation to both the front AND back.
The unfortunate reality is that all short shorts are going to ride up a bit, but when buying go with something a little less fitted if you don't want them to ride up and get, well, stuck up there. Shorts made of a denim with a slight stretch blend material in there will also have a bit more give and mean you won't feel like someone is trying to cut off your vagina every time you sit down. Plus they''re less likely to do that annoying thing where they are all saggy and out of shape by the end of the day, too.
Style crisis #2 - "how do I hide the world's most awkward sunburn?"
First up: do the clever thing and don't get burnt to start with. Protect you skin with a broad spectrum sun cream of at least 30 SPF (although 50 is way better). Regularly re-apply and do so more often if you are swimming as your protection will wash off
However, if you have got awkwardly shaped sun burn thanks to that cut-out swimsuit or those mid thigh length shorts, the aim of the game is to soothe and cover up. Start by whacking on loads of after sun and reapplying basically as soon as your skin drinks it all up. Your best bet is then to give the burnt area a rest by covering it up, especially when you're outside. Loose t-shirts and floaty shirts are a great option, as are maxi dresses if your legs are the offending area.
Once the redness has completely gone down and as long as the skin is NOT peeling off, you can lightly exfoliate and even out any white/brown lines with some fake tan. If it is peeling, leave well alone until it's all healed up, but keep applying the after sun to help things along.
Style crisis #3 - "Everything in the shops is see-through. How do I wear them without brandishing my entire boobs at everyone I meet."
We're not sure what it is about summer that makes the shops decide to swap opaque fabric for everything sheer, but it happens year after year.
If that's for you then cool, but if it's not then layering is the aim of the game. Try mixing up cotton vests tucked into skirts with your sheer floaty shirts unbuttoned over the top. You can still embrace the trends, but just alter them to fit your aesthetic. A leotard is a great investment to wear under sheer dresses and if showing your bra makes you feel uncomfortable, a crop top underneath a sheer top or wearing a bikini instead might help you feel a bit more covered up.
Style crisis #4 - "I want to stay cool but I also don't want to wear one of those super short skirts/dresses that show my entire legs."
There's nothing like bending over in a summer dress to realise you're showing your entire arse and your Disney knickers to the entire street, is there? If you're tall or hate super short skirts then look for brands that offer a tall option. Often they will stock items from their main line in a slightly longer version, which are perfect for tall gals and those not into flashing all the flesh. Topshop, Glamorous and ASOS are all good bets.
Otherwise maxi and midi dresses are your friend. They feel floaty and femine but will cover you right up while they're at it.
Style crisis #5 - "I'm short but I still want to do the maxi skirt trend. How do I stop looking like I'm a small child dressed up in my mum's clothes?"
Just like for tall girls, look for brands that stock Petite. New Look, Topshop and ASOS are all great for this and have whole ranges dedicated to those of us who are on the shorter side.
Style crisis #6 - "two words: chub rub."
It happens to us all when it's hot and sweaty, so you are definitely not alone on this. The best way to avoid is to wear slightly longer and more fitted shorts to protect your legs from themselves.
Otherwise mositurising your thighs will help protect them from that raw feeling. You could also invet in a pair of thin legging shorts (or cycling shorts) to wear under your floaty dresses and skirts. And hey, it also means you can go about your business without worrying about flashing when an unexpected gust of wind comes your way.
Style crisis #7 - "I always get a muffin top in shorts, even when they fit the rest of me. WHY OH WHY?"
Hey, it's probably just your natural body shape, no need to worry about it. Just pick styles that are more high-waisted - they are bang on trend, will look adorable with a crop top and will give yourself a smoother silhouette too.
Style crisis #8 - Every time I sit on the grass I get an awkward imprint in my legs.
Sitting on the grass for lunch is a peak summer activity and there's no need to let the threat of awkward imprints stop you from having a roll in the hay/the litter in your local green space.
Tie a summery scarf or wrap to your bag and whenever the mood takes you to head to the park, you'll have a handy impromptu blanket to sit on.
Style crisis #9 - "Sweat patches. ALL of the sweat patches."
Boob sweat, thigh sweat, under arm sweat: summer is just a hot and sweaty mess and you need to accept that. But if you do want to avoid obvious patches, there are definitely a few things you can do.
Stick to clothes made from natural fabrics like cotton and linen as they keep you coolest and don't show stains the way man made fabrics do. Anti-perspirant is also key - just always make sure it's totally dry before you get dressed and if you have problem areas like under your boobs or your back, a little spritz there won't hurt either. Again, just make sure the area is totally dry before you put clothes over or it'll just make things sweatier.
Don't go too crazy with deodorant though as too much will build up and leave those awkward yellow stains on your clothes.
Style crisis #10 - "My face is just generally sweatier than a bag of chips right now."
A sweaty upper lip waits for no man or woman and the struggle is REAL. To avoid the makeup-sweating-right-off-your-face scenario, change your usual products to lighter formulas like a BB cream or mineral foundation. Keep eyeliner and mascara to waterproof formulasif you would prefer not to resdiscover that perfect cat-flick you did at 8am smeared halfway down your cheek by lunchtime.
If the sweaty, strandy fringe is the bane of your life, carry a clip in your bag to pin it back or ask a hairdresser to thin it down for the summer months.
Style crisis #11 - "It's so hot my nail polish is actually melting off my fingers."
DRAMA. No one wants this to happen, but a sneaky way to avoid is to get a gel mani. Failing that, you could try one of the Barry M Daylight Curing colours and top coats.
The shades are great and once you apply the top coat and go outside in the sunshine, it bonds the colour to the nail like a gel giving you a long-lasting and high shine colour that you can still remove with a polish remover.