The 14 Very Real Struggles Of Being The Person Who Refuses To Stop Wearing Black In Summer
Let's just be done with the sarcastic comments of "oh nice to see you've worn your summer clothes"
Summer. A time for florals and floaty fabrics - at least unless you are the person in your friendship group who would rather sweat to death than stop wearing black despite the thirty degree heat going on outside.
Sound familiar? Then this one's for you, because the struggle of being the person who refuses to stop wearing black in summer is way too real.
1. OK first of all let's just be done with the sarcastic comments of "oh nice to see you've worn your summer clothes"
Because ACTUALLY THIS IS THE LIGHTEST FABRIC I OWN AND I HAVE MADE A SPECIAL SUMMER EFFORT thanks.
2. Shopping in summer is generally a nightmare
Why is everything floral? Why so much paisley? Why so little black shirts almost identical to the black shirts I already own but with a slightly different sleeve?
3. You’ve had to come up with 27 hilariously witty responses to the constant "Aren't you hot in that?" questions that basically all say NO
(But yes, actually, sometimes it's really effing hot but that tropical print monstrosity is not gonna work for us)
4. This one time you got a bit daring and wore a skirt (black, yes) with a sheer skirt over the top
So it was totally light and summery and breezy, but everyone still called you Wednesday Adams so you went back to your jeans.
5. You get mistaken for staff in shops and bars
So much that you’ve actually just started showing people where the accessories departments are when they ask.
6. You basically express colours with your nail polish
And if people can't appreciate that you've gone for an uplifting dark crimson colour instead of your usual Deep Raven then that's their problem isn't it.
7. You’ve become an expert at rolling your tops up weirdly and so specifically before you put them on so you’ll avoid big white deodorant marks
You're s good at it you could avoid deodorant marks in the Olympics.
8. One time you were having a nice lie down in the park and three people came to ask if you were ok before you realised you looked a bit dead
(Unless you live in London in which case nobody cares if you're bleeding to death as long as they can get a nice spot for their M&S picnic and you're not being too loud. Enjoy your nice lie down.)
9. On a slightly over-enthusiastic shopping trip you tried to reinvent yourself by getting a bikini with tropical flowers on it
You now feel like you’re in a Wham video and there’s nothing you can do about it.
10. The sun will inevitably lighten one of your black vests and now it DOESN’T MATCH YOUR BLACK SHORTS and everything is ruined
Different shades of black are real okay.
11. Summer = parks = dogs in parks = PURE JOY until you look at your jeans
12. You’d think you could get ready really quickly because everything will go with everything because you’re a black-coordinating-colour-genius
But actually you spend hours lost in the labyrinth of your wardrobe because EVERYTHING LOOKS THE SAME.
13. Your usual smug one-upmanship about never being able to tell if you spill food on yourself is instantly taken away in the summer
Hello ice cream stain and the ‘hilarious’ questioning from your dear friends about “what is it reeeeally though?”. Oh shut up.
14. BUT, you never have to separate your laundry because everything’s all one colour
- By Kate Lucey.