B&Q Are Urging Their Staff To ‘Familiarise Themselves’ With 50 Shades Of Grey
The hardware store are expecting a surge in demand for a few specific items
A leaked memo sent by B&Q top dogs to everyone of its 20,887 staff members recommends that they ‘get to know’ the gory details of 50 Shades of Grey.
The store is anticipating a sudden interest in a few choice items, namely, you guessed it, cable ties and rope.
The memo refers to the book as a “popular erotic novel”, and includes a helpful brief synopsis of the storyline, mentioning the fact that rope is used to “fulfil Mr Grey’s unconventional sexual pursuits”.
It ends with a capitalised warning.
“STAFF ARE ASKED TO KEEP THE CONTENTS OF THIS BRIEFING WITHIN THE COMPANY”.
Well done for ignoring that one, B&Q staff members.
Lets hope they've got extra BDSM savvy staff on tap for the next few weeks, because if their prophecies are right, ropes and cable ties are going to be flying off the shelves.