If you’ve been to a gym on a fairly regular basis (and by that we mean more than twice), then you’ll know it’s not JUST about exercise.

Oh no - there’s a whole host of both literal and metaphorical awkward obstacles to overcome. Obstacles like these…

Being the noob.

Joining a gym for the very first time is a bit like joining a new school - except the school has slightly scary looking equipment you don’t know how to use, and intimidating beefy guys grunting up a storm in the weights section. Is it OK to use this locker? Are you wearing the right shoes? Are those girls laughing at you?

Learning how to use a new piece of equipment.

So you’ve decided to bite the bullet and leave your treadmill/crosstrainer comfort zone. That arm-pulley thing looks fairly simple, until you sit down and realise you somehow need to adjust the seat. And the elbow rest. And OH GOD WHY IS IT SO HEAVY - oh yep, you’ve got it on the wrong weight setting too. Meanwhile a super-toned girl with a flicky ponytail and a serious ‘I’M SUPER FIT’ look about her is waiting for you to finish with an impatient glint in her eye. Lord have mercy.

Leaving a big sweaty stain on one of the machines.

You’ve been really going for it on one of the machines you’ve actually worked out how to use, only to get up and realise that the seat is now decidedly on the damp side of life, thanks to your bum sweat. Mortifying. Pro tip: put a towel down before you start your reps to avoid this shame.

The red face of doom.

Been working out hard, feeling great, feeling like a pro… and then you catch sight of yourself in the mirror. At least, you think it’s you - it’s hard to tell because your face appears to have been replaced by a GLOWING RED TOMATO. At least people won’t know that you’re now also blushing.

Making eye contact with someone in a mirror.

Bit awks at the best of times, but peak cringe is achieved if it happens while you’re pulling your ‘squeezing out that last rep’ face. Sensual. Naht.

Going for the last floor mat at the same time as someone else.

Cue that awkward ‘oh you go’, ‘oh no it’s fine you take it’ moment. Gets worse if you win the polite wars and don’t get the mat, because then you have to wander off in a faux nonchalant kind of way while fuming inside.

Farting.

Look we don’t mean to take this to a slightly infantile level, but IT. HAPPENS. Hardly surprising what with all that crunching and squeezing, really. And yes it’s a natural bodily function but oh sweet jesu it’s still embarrassing.

Accidentally singing out loud to your guilty pleasure moment.

Is it your fault that Britney Spears ‘Lucky’ makes you run faster? No. Do you wish that the entire gym didn’t hear you belt out the chorus? Yes.

Falling down after leg day.

One too many weighted squats = legs so wobbly they make jelly look like a solid structure. Walking? Nope. Stairs? Forget about it.

'- Words by Lizzie Cox.'

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