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84 Thoughts I Had When Watching The Final Episode Of Friends Having Never Seen Friends Before

Yes, I am *that* person...

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Thursday, July 23, 2015 - 16:38

Okay, so I’m that person that’s managed to never watch an episode of Friends in all of my 22 years on this planet.

My co-workers thought it would be funny to make me watch the last ever episode and write down my thoughts – most of which are questions, so many questions.

Warning: die-hard Friends fans may be offended by my oblivion; I realised Ross and Monica were siblings 45 minutes in… 

1.    Okay here goes. 22 years of letting Friends pass me by ends now.
2.    Right, blonde pregnant lady thought she had just eaten too much but is actually going into labor… Seems legit.
3.    Who’s baby is it? Who is she? Confusion begins.
4.    So were Rachel and Ross a thing before? 
5.    They’ve just got it on and that seems to be a big deal…
6.    I’m confused already, they also look confused, was this supposed to happen?
7.    Okay, Ross’ “new moves” mean they’ve slept together before.


8.    Were they friends with benefits? Or actually a thing?
9.    Ah, the theme tune. 
10.    This is something I do recognise – it’s pretty hard to avoid tbh.
11.    Who’s the dad to this blonde lady’s baby? 
12.    And why is Chandler (I think that’s his name, I Googled it…) in the room?
13.    Chandler and Monica are together, that’s one couple confirmed. This is getting slightly easier.
14.    Ah okay, Erica is the pregnant blonde lady. Is she Ross’ sister?


15.    How long ago were Ross and Rachel together?!
16.    Why is she going to Paris if Ross wants her back? 
17.    Does Phoebe sing all the time? 
18.    Is Joey always this inappropriate? 
19.    WHAT?! “Goodbye”?! She’s just slept with him and now she’s LEAVING?
20.    Where is she going?
21.    Ross looks sad…
22.    Monica AND Chandler are in the room with pregnant Erica while she’s in labor, so is she a surrogate?
23.    WAIT, WHAT, TWINS?!


24.    Chandler’s reaction is pretty much the same as mine, at least we were all surprised by this.
25.    N’aww, “one of each!”
26.    Right, Phoebe is singing AGAIN and giving Ross advice about Rachel.
27.    Surely if this is an ongoing thing they are ALWAYS giving Ross advice?
28.    Who’s the one-year-old going to Paris with Rachel? Does she already have a baby?
29.    The muffin in-joke is completely lost on me.
30.    Aw, Monica and Chandler are all happy with their twins, that’s pretty cute.
31.    Right, so Joey is the dumb one throughout, I’m guessing? Who sits in a pot of red paint by accident!?
32.    PAUL RUDD!!!


33.    WAIT, WHY IS PAUL RUDD THERE? ANTMAN!!
34.    He’s called Mike.
35.    Things are getting a bit emosh.
36.    Everyone is just as shocked about the two babies; we’re all on the same wavelength for once.
37.    Is Paul Rudd Phoebe’s boyfriend then?
38.    TELL RACHEL YOU LOVE HER BEFORE SHE LEAVES YOU ROSS!!
39.    I’m really into this now…
40.    I feel attached to them all already <3
41.    I assume Ross and Rachel’s thing has been going on for the whole ten seasons, how agonising.
42.    Thanks for the context, Joey!
43.    HE’S GOING AFTER HER! YES!


44.    Why is Phoebe driving a cab? 
45.    Does she own it? 
46.    Has she stolen it?
47.    Joey’s lost the chick and the duckling…
48.    This is upsetting, where are they?!
49.    Fuss-ball table vs. cute baby poultry…
50.    Joey’s moral dilemma is pretty hilarious.
51.    Oh, Rachel’s lost her boarding pass, what a convenient delay…
52.    Still not enough time for Phoebe and Ross.


53.    WRONG AIRPORT. WHAT!
54.    Oh, I can’t even… this is getting far too tense.
55.    Is Ross ever going to get to tell Rachel he loves her?
56.    I think I’m right in never wanting Phoebe to drive me anywhere…
57.    Okay, this would literally never happen.
58.    Why is everyone getting off the plane?!
59.    YOU WOULDN’T JUST GET OFF!
60.    Oh my god, the duckling and chick are super cute.
61.    I’ve missed out on so many years of Chandler and Joey’s bromance (I think…)


62.    THINGS ARE GETTING EMOSH! Literally so emosh…
63.    If I were more emotionally attached to these characters I would be weeping right now.
64.    I’m feeling like Rachel should probably stay and not move to Paris.
65.    NOOOO! She’s SORRY?! 
66.    What a b**ch! 
67.    Ross’ poor little sad face :’(
68.    Everyone knows that Ross is heartbroken.


69.    Oh wait, a voicemail…
70.    Rachel DOES love Ross!
71.    Why is this all so damn complicated?!
72.    The voicemail can’t end there!
73.    DUN DUN DUN…
74.    OH THE SUSPENSE!
75.    SHE GOT OFF THE PLANE! SHE GOT OFF THE PLANE!
76.    I think I missed another in-joke about them being ‘on a break’.
77.    Aww, they’re back together for now, and I assume forever seeing as it’s the last episode!
78.    Wait, is Monica Ross’ SISTER?! 
79.    44 and a half minutes in and I only just realise this…
80.    Monica is first to cry, I predict there are going to be more tears.
81.    Yep, that’s Rachel gone.
82.    And I’ve missed another in-joke.
83.    Chandler saying “where” seems to be pretty funny to everyone but me.
84.    That’s it!?

@megandowning


 

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