Game Of Thrones Season 7, Episode 2 Recap: 10 Things That Made Us Freak Out In ‘Stormborn'
WE'RE LOSING IT.
As it turns out, it’s one of the most significant episodes in Game Of Thrones’ history - and we’re not just talking about the fact Arya’s been reunited with Hot Pie.
We’re basically losing it, read the below to find out why, while we find somewhere to go and calm down.
dany has seasonal affective disorder (probably)
Poor old Daenerys, one glimpse of a bit of rain and she gets the blues - complaining about how long it’s taking her and her pals to conquer Westeros.
Thankfully, she’s got Varys and Tyrion there to stop her from chucking dragons at everything (as Tyrion points out, there’s no point in being “Queen of the ashes”).
However, they’ve barely put out that fire before the Khaleesi turns on Varys (who seems to think she’s an “I choose you!” Pokemon trainer), asking him to explain basically every single action he’s taken since the start of the series (which handily doubles up as great exposition).
Cheer up Dany, the sun’ll come out tomorrow!
a high valerian translation changes everything
Okay, okay, we’re freaking out a bit here because this is HUGE. You know that prophecy that’s been one of the most important elements of both the book and the series? You know, the whole ‘The Prince who was promised’ Azor Ahai thing, that’s basically going to be one of the biggest reveals on the show?
As it turns out, the prophecy is a mistranslation and should be ‘The Prince…OR PRINCESS’ - this means it’s time for us to screw up the piece of paper we put our Prince predictions on (one of the most fun elements of being a GoT fan is guessing stuff like this) BECAUSE WE’RE GOING TO NEED A BIGGER NOTEBOOK.
jon snow gets an rsvp to dragonstone
One of the things we love about this season (so far) is how fast it’s moving. The moment in which Dany tells Tyrion to send a raven to invite Jon Snow to bend the knee has barely finished transitioning to the next scene before Sansa’s reading the message out loud.
Then Davos says what we’ve been shouting at our tellies for the last seven years (DRAGONS BREATHE FIRE, FIRE KILLS WHITE WALKERS), and Jon’s (almost) off to meet his next BFF (he has to convince everyone to let him go, leave Sansa in charge, and half-throttle Littlefinger first).
cersei’s a big fan of the show
Cersei gets an extended monologue dedicated to bringing a bunch of lords up to speed with the story so far on Game Of Thrones, telling her audience exactly who the Mother Of Dragons is. Spoilers Cers!
Still, the big takeaway from this scene is the fact that Pycelle is ‘working on a solution’ to the dragon issue.
That does NOT sound like good news for Drogon and his brothers (or us, we love those leathery guys)… Until it turns out to be a giant crossbow, which isn’t quite as impressive as a giant zombie jug of water or whatever it was we were picturing during that bit.
characters are starting to come together
We know they’re all in the same gang, but it’s still weird to see Lady Olenna, Theon, Yara and Ellaria hanging out with Tyrion and Dany - and this time they’re the ones that are complaining, making basically exactly the same argument Dany grumbled in the opening scene.
But Tyrion’s brilliant tactics shut them up, as he lays out the best plan since we decided to buy popcorn to eat during this episode.
greyworm gets some
After a beautiful speech about how love has given him fear, followed by a brave kiss, Greyworm is rewarded with the first bit of nudity on this season of GoT. Feels super weird to think that people used to basically be naked all the time in this series, the ‘tits and dragons’ show is definitely more dragon-heavy these days.
did we just get confirmation of a major theory?
“If you want people to read your histories, you need a bit of style.” We’re pretty sure this scene just confirmed a huge fan theory - that Sam will end up being the person who writes the A Song Of Ice And Fire books on the show, meaning the entire telly series is based on Samwell’s brilliance with a pen (which is mightier than the Valyrian sword).
First he gets guidance on how to write recent histories, then he contributes an idea for the title: “Possibly something a bit more poetic?” FAN THEORY CONFIRMED.
there’s hope for jorah
Jorah the explorer is either writing a love letter or a suicide note to the Khaleesi, thanks to the incurable greyscale that’ll mean he’ll lose his mind in six months, before allowing him to live in extreme discomfort for a further 20 years, ensuring that death by his own sword is the only plausible way out of a living hell.
All looks lost for the former Knight, until Samwell bursts in with a plan to fix him. “I knew your father, I was with him when he died, you’re not dying today, Ser Jorah.”
Did we mention how much we love Sam?
hot pie’s back
Of all the reunions on this show (and this scene sets up a big one to come), we found this moment weirdly powerful - the sheer joy with which Hot Pie greets his old mate Arry brought a tear to our eye. If only he knew what she’d been through since he last saw her.
And if we thought that was emotional, we basically had a full-blown breakdown when Arya was reunited with Nymeria (her former dire wolf - last seen being chased away, to save her life from Joffrey’s tantrum).
The show may be way ahead of the books, but this is something that’s actually been (sort of) set up on the printed page (Nymeria and her wolf pack’s been alluded to, with Arya warging into her former friend), and it’s something we never thought we’d see happen on the show (it’s part of a whole bunch of other stuff that isn’t in the series). Then, Nymeria turns and leaves. WE HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS AND WE DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THEM.
euron knows how to make an entrance
Considering how many boats there are on the show, it’s surprising that it’s taken this long for a massive sea battle to take place - but it was worth waiting for.
Not only did Euron slam into the scene on the back of a weird wooden squid bridge, he proceeded to do about a million major things - kill the Sand Snakes, bring back Theon’s PTSD, and steal Yara Greyjoy away.
Not to mention the fact we’ve (probably) got an answer to last week’s gift question - we’re expecting Euron to bring Ellaria Sand to Kings Landing next week, which we can’t imagine will be much fun for her.
Wow, what an episode. CAN IT BE THE NEXT EPISODE NOW PLEASE THANKS.
- By Sam Ashurst @samashurst
Desperate for more GOT right now? Watch the cast play a hilarious game of Would You Rather?: IRON THRONE Edition...