18 Times Geordie Shore Changed Our Lives
Seriously, what would we do without these lads and lasses?
Our lads and lasses of Geordie Shore have got a pretty sweet life: go out, get mortal, tash on, get into a fight, punch a lamp and then share a bed with either a fit worldie or a puddle of their own pee.
But throughout their time slowly turning the Geordie Shore house into a level 4 quarantine zone, their warped family fun has actually changed the nation. For better or for worse? You decide.
FYI, this article contains strong language and sexual references from the outset and throughout. WHY AYE!
They lowered the bar for what could be shown on TV
It may all be under covers, but there's no mistaking that familiar lurid sight of night-vision rutting. So romantic.
They raised awareness about bodily function issues
People might laugh at Charlotte's uncontrollable bladder, or even show disgust at her body fluid updates, but this is exactly the kind of information that could save a life one day.
In related news, Charlotte should probably go see a doctor.
They made being topless for no reason seem normal
Sorry, what did you say? We can’t hear you over your chest.
They taught us sexual dining etiquette
But what happens after that? Quickly! Our food is getting cold.
They highlighted the complications of having 'friends with benefits'
"We're just mates who have drunken sex. I wouldn't want to do anything with him while I'm sober.” Of course you wouldn't, Holly. What's that? You're getting drunk right now and then you’re going to climb into his bed? Yes, good idea.
They showed us how to have great fun with metaphors and similes
Even if most of the comparisons seem to be with STDs, for reasons we completely understand.
They gave us a new penis-measuring system
The downside is that now we all get aroused when doing the food shop.
They lowered the bar for what could be shown on TV even more
Often complete with glowy eyes and cold feet sticking out of the bottom of a bobbing duvet, it's only a matter of time before we get a narration by David Attenborough.
They gave us new dance moves
Try out this nifty move at your next grandparents' social!
They completely dispensed with any innuendo
There was a time when ladies and gentlemen hinted at their bedtime activities with clever wordplay and delicate grace. Not anymore. Now, when somebody says “Geordie Shore is coming”, we know exactly what they mean.
They made dancing pecs during conversation seem perfectly normal
Sorry, what was that? We were distracted by the twerk on your chest.
They gave us a new 'will they/won’t they' relationship to root for
Ah, sweet puppy-eyed Charlotte with your strong feelings and your mad drunken rages, and lad's lad Gaz, with your desperate need to "bang" every girl you meet - why can't you two kids just work things out?
They showed us the importance of an education (and an attention span)
It's official: Stupid is the new smart. Which obviously doesn't make any sense. Which is why it's so clever. And so on.
They had us all doing that weird nose thing
It's either a reference to Pinocchio or sign language for 'smug rhino'. We're still unsure.
They gave us an entirely new vocabulary
Sorry, what did you say? We were distracted by... no, actually, it's not your chest this time. Seriously. What did you say?
They showed us the importance of family time
The family that sleeps together, stays together. Probably.
They introduced philosophical concepts into our weekly viewing
Sure. And James is Blankety Blank, Holly is Trivial Pursuit, Vicky is Battleship and Gaz and Scotty T are both Buckaroo.
Still lowering that bar...
We. Can’t. Even.
Geordie Shore returns for a brand new series on Tuesday 20th October at 10pm.
By Matt Looker
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