14 Underrated, Long Forgotten Geordie Shore Legends We Miss Every Day
Gone but not forgotten
As well as a whole lot of drama, the art of the slut drop and some serious, serious hangovers, Geordie Shore has created a handful of pretty famous people over the past six years.
You're probably gonna wanna see this video about reality stars who were NOT afraid to get freaky on TV..
Without that masterpiece of a show we wouldn’t have been blessed with Charlotte Crosby, Chloe Ferry, Vicky Pattison OR Gaz Beadle, so we should probably all just take a moment of thanks to the casting directors tbh.
But while that lot have gone on to live a whirlwind of fame and fortune, spare a thought for those Geordie lads and lasses who disappeared back into normal life after leaving the house. Haway, we can’t all be best selling authors and fitness gurus.
It’s about time we celebrated the more underrated members of the Geordie Shore cast tbh, so here’s 14 long forgotten legends from the show that we miss every day. God bless.
1. Cancun Chris
Basically the Godfather of Season 3 in Mexico, Cancun Chris was on hand to make sure the lads and lasses respected his insanely cool villa. Funnily enough, they didn't.
As well as trashing the place and Charlotte putting her skidmarked undies in the kitchen bin, they also drank his vintage tequila and stuck a sanitary towel to his back.
Poor bloke. Hope you're well and recovered from the Geordie trauma, Cancun Chris.
2. Scramble and Egg
They'll go down in history as the first ever Geordie Shore house pets, but Scramble and Egg weren't long for this world. We're guessing the pizza toppings, bits of kebab and hairspray that flew into their water probably didn't help much.
Charl was left devastated when they passed away, as they both helped her through the long and winding road of #CharlotteAndGaz. Luckily, they've gone to a much, much better place now in Fishy Heaven. RIP.
Becca hit the house like some kind of neon orange Jack Russell in Season 2, with a permanent pissed off expression and a knack for causing absolute carnage without actually doing much.
She revealed her iconic party trick of fanny farting on demand in the hot tub, and if that's not enough for you to miss her dearly then we don't know what is.
She's now literally unrecognisable and living a calm, Vicky Pattison-free life with baby son Harry-Theo.
4. Dan's cougar
Of all the pulls in all of Geordie Shore history, never forget the time that Dan went out on the pull and bagged himself the cougar of all cougars.
She told him off for asking her age before they shared a romantic shagging sesh in the hot tub. Dan hasn't been seen since, so we presume she ate him for breakfast.
5. Holly's boyfriend Dan
OH DAN. You were too pure, too quiet, too humble for this weird and wonderful Geordie world.
He gave Holly strict instructions that she was allowed to 'do everything but bang someone', which is always a solid sign in a relationship.
Unfortunately it wasn't meant to be, and Holly ended up calling it quits in a furniture shop car park. Ahh, true love.
Greg was the odd one out from the start of Season 1, with his collared leather jacket, dad-like stubble and absolute lack of interest in both the gym and pulling.
It's fairly likely that he arrived to audition for a different show and took a wrong turn tbh, but at least he had a lovely time.
He's now loved up with Hollyoaks' Jennifer Metcalfe and the pair have just become parents to son Daye, so all's well that ends well.
7. Sophie's dad
Always arriving at the opportune moments (like when Soph had a boy in her bed, or when she literally couldn't move from a hangover), Sophie's dad is basically everyone's dad.
Who else would rock up to the house and take the whole gang out for a slap up meal at his restaurant, Mambo's? If Mr Kasaei wants to adopt us, we'd be up for it.
The bridge in evolution between silver back gorillas and mankind, Jay was always the super-tanned, waxed eyebrowed, actually enormous dad of the Geordie family.
He definitely earned the title of Most Tears Shed when he announced he was leaving the show (even Gary cried his eyes out), which proves that he was just an all round stand up guy.
9. The girls at the dinner party
There's so many unanswered questions about this group of unsuspecting ladies from way back in Season 1.
Who were they? What did they think of the boys' cooking skills? Are they proud to be the only females ever shown any genuine romance on the history of Geordie Shore?
We hope somewhere in the world, they're sitting back and reflecting on their achievements.
10. Holly's leather glove
Gone but not forgotten.
11. James's spray tan lady
Remember when Season 2 saw the lads and lasses taking up spray tanning as their new part time job for Anna? What a time to be alive.
One of the only victims to experience their tanning talents was this lovely woman called Suzie, who gave James an eyeful when she headed into the booth.
Ahh Suzie, we hope life is treating you well.
12. The girl who's 18th birthday party Gary and James worked at
Has there ever been anyone happier to see the cast of Geordie Shore than this girl was when they rocked up to her 18th birthday party?
They're memories that'll last forever, and hopefully her life since has been equally as joyful as this moment.
Unfortunately for Dan, he ended up making about as much impact on Geordie Shore as the words 'I've got a boyfriend...' do on Gaz Beadle.
He left behind a faint whisper of his love for older women, his desperate need to join the buck squad, and a terrible earring.
Miss you, Dan.
14. Colonic irrigation woman
And last but not least, the real unsung hero of Geordie Shore will forever be this lady, who gave Charlotte and Sophie a colonic irrigation in Season 2.
It's probably the world's greatest injustice that she wasn't awarded an MBE for her efforts on Charlotte Crosby's digestive system. Not all heroes wear capes, guys.
Words by Lucy Wood