25 Classic Geordie Shore Insults To Use On Your Enemies
In need of some killer insults? These are the best ones from Geordie Shore, over at MTV.co.uk.
There’s loads of reasons that Geordie Shore is one of the best shows on TV. For example, the endless love life-related drama, the completely bonkers nights out, and the impressive amount of chicken nuggets that Chloe Ferry can eat in one go.
But a series of Geordie just ain’t complete without a kick off or two, which means that over the years, the lads and lasses have become pretty good at coming up with EXCELLENT insults.
They’ve come out with some absolutely genius one-liners over thirteen seasons, so here’s some of the ultimate best ones to make a note of and use on your enemies one day.
1. A cute nickname for your foes.
'F**king pan face' has such a poetic ring to it.
2. One for when your mum's having a massive go at you for no reason.
Side note: don't ever actually tell your mum she's got a fanny full of wasps. It won't go well for you.
3. An idea for when you're jealous that your pal's seeing a new woman.
Grey hair is actually very fashionable at the moment so who's the real winner here?
4. A dig at boys who mess your friends around.
Serves them right for having ridiculously tall hair.
5. An accurate description for anyone who dares to be in a bad mood on your birthday.
6. A beautiful metaphor to shut down the f**kboys.
Leave the lemonade to Beyonce, lads.
7. One for when your ex's new squeeze walks into the clurb.
How dare she.
8. A response for when you go on Instagram and see nothing but #cleanliving #diet #weightloss.
Let me eat my pizza in peace.
9. One for someone who just won't take the hint that you're ghosting them.
Possibly a bit harsh when you're also ignoring all of their messages, but still.
10. For the one who just WON'T leave bae alone.
That confusing hair. Ugh.
11. This one for when someone eats the chocolate brownie you had your eye on.
It works particularly well when repeated three times.
13. A perfect response to when the teacher introduces a group project.
A small word of advice - never actually drop the C-bomb to a teacher. Obviously.
14. A masterpiece which can apply to a variety of enemies.
Let that be a warning to them all.
15. A response for when you hear that someone's not impressed with your antics.
Haway, talk to the hand.
16. The perfect comeback to anyone who swipes left on your beautiful face.
Didn't fancy you anyway, pet.
18. This work of art.
'Mobility scooter bird'. Honestly, someone give these guys a Nobel Prize for Literature.
19. There's nothing like telling a boy he's a human tampon.
Guaranteed to confuse and astound.
20. A strong, reliable insult for any occasion.
'Little f**king weasel'. Too good.
21. When your sister goes out in a dress you haven't even worn yet.
Make sure to deliver with Vicky-inspired sass.
22. One for when you're trying to have a deep and meaningful conversation.
And bae's just like 'I dunno...' UGH.
23. The answer for when your nan's 80th birthday coincides with a big night out.
Nan, you are a human poke in the eye.
24. This fairly gross image to put your point across.
25. And when all else fails.
Words by Lucy Wood
Geordie Shore: New Radgie Rampage starts Tuesday, 28th March at 10pm – only on MTV!
Just Tattoo Of Us starts Monday, 3rd April at 10pm – only on MTV!
PERFECT. Now how about some more Geordie action avec Sophie Kasaei and her love life advice?