WHEY-AYE! The Geordie Party Is Coming & We're BUZZING!
Chuff off Cameron, and move over Miliband - the Geordies are here...
They've taken over Newcastle, and now the Geordies are coming for the rest of you.
This year will see the great British public head to polling booths in an effort to fix the country the democratic way, by voting in the general election.
But if you thought David Cameron, Nick Clegg and Ed Miliband were your only options - it's time to think again.
Led by our very own Charlotte Crosby, The Geordie Party is here, and their manifesto is MINT (even if we do say so ourselves).
With the motto: "Party hard or party at home," Gaz, Charlotte, Holly, Scotty-T, Kyle, Aaron, Chloe and Nathan are on a mission to get Britain buzzing.
Imagine a world with free spray tans for all, where bedroom tax is abolished and mini skirts are mandatory on a night out. That's what the Geordies are fighting for.
Doesn't it sound brilliant?
Here are the policies you need to know about...
THE HEALTH SERVICE
We pledge to make Britain beautiful again so we vow FREE spray tans on the NHS for all. Men, women, children, old people, babies, cats. It’s only fair.
CLOTHING CUT BACKS
We don’t really need that amount of material to keep us warm. Therefore, short skirts and low-cut T’s will become mandatory on all nights out. Coats will remain banned (they are banned, right?!).
We’re committed to allowing only the hottest talent into the UK. Supermodels, Miss Worlds, underwear models, fit people, Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper, Megan Fox, Ashton Kutcher, Scarlett Johansson, etc.
Waiting is lame. Fact. So we’re offering jetpacks for public use to solve the public transport crisis. Great idea.
EDUCATION AND HEALTH DOUBLE WHAMMY
We’re going to make the country fitter by supplying every school with our fitness DVDs - and we'll throw in some personal hands on instruction from our very own Holly Hagan. They won’t know what’s hit ‘em.
We want to disband parliament and turn the House of Commons into London’s premier super club. That would be mint.
We’re lovers not fighters! (Well, most of the time), so if elected we’d focus on spreading the love and tashing on with as many people as we can.
We’d abolish it. No one should be penalised for spending so much time in their bedrooms.
Austerity can lick our bits. We pledge to SPEND, SPEND, SPEND. Parties, fast cars, fast food, foam parties, clothes, consoles, holidays... the list doesn't end.
We will make Newcastle the capital of England. Because when we’re in charge, we can do what we want.
See what else The Geordie Party have in store when Geordie Shore returns to MTV on Tuesday 7th April at 10pm.