10 Movie Monsters We'd Totally Make Out With
Ahead of Godzilla’s release on Friday 16 May, we’ve rounded up our favourite movie monsters, all of whom we’d secretly love to tash on with…
Here at MTV we don’t discriminate on our make out buddies – you’ve seen what those Geordies get up to on a Saturday night, right? This is why we aren’t embarrassed in the slightest to share the 10 movie monsters we’d totally make out with. Call us kinky, but you’d be hard pushed to find a sexier line-up of creatures to swap spit with!
1. Satanico Pandemonium – From Dusk Til Dawn
Santanico Pandemonium isn’t just the Queen of The Titty Twister and undead-spiration behind Britney’s 2001 MTV VMA Slave 4U performance with Banana the python. She’s Salma Hayek before she became SALMA HAYEK!
This undead hipshaker from 1996 had us at “Welcome to Slavery”, but losing her hair and trying to eat us blew any chance of Santanico getting to second base with us. Talk about false advertising, love!
2. George Lutz – Amityville Horror
At the risk of having your heads chopped off (or worse, getting a splinter) we recommend keeping a safe perving distance from Ryan Reynolds' character in the 2005 Amityville Horror remake. We'd be lying, though, if we said his rocking six-pack hadn't made us see past that nasty case of conjunctivitis he seems to be suffering from. You best just leave him for us.
3. Jennifer – Jennifer’s Body
Megan Fox may eat boys for breakfast in Jennifer’s Body, but we can totally forgive and forget her demonic indiscretions after watching her lock lips with Amanda Seyfried’s, character Needy. Wait, does anyone else smell Thai food?
4. Sil – Species
Sometimes we come on too strong after one too many and we learned the hard way how to French kiss someone whose not interested from Natasha Henstridge in Species.
Not being able to sing Ariana Grande’s new single at the top of our lungs for the next few days is a Problem for sure, but it’s our own fault.
5. Pyramid Head – Silent Hill
What? You know what they say about men with very big swords, right? And Pyramid Head’s sword is really big! We just need to find a way to penetrate that blood stained tetrahedron of a head of his with our tongue. Any thoughts?
6. Grendel’s Mother – Beowulf
There’s no denying, Grendel’s Mother is a bit of a MILF. If anyone’s going to drag us underwater to our deaths for biting her lip by accident, she may as well be voiced by Angelina Jolie. Pixelated to perfection, the original ‘Mother Monster’ (sorry Gaga!) may only be making out with us so that we give her a baby, but isn’t that how every relationship starts when you’re dating a succubus?”
7. Dren – Splice
Is fancying Dren from sci-fi horror Splice even legal in the UK? We’ll take our chances. Genetically engineered in a lab or not, this sexually alluring human/animal/Sinead O’Connor hybrid soon finds her way into Adrien Brody’s pants with disastrous consequences.
8. Patrick Bateman – American Psycho
Some of our best make out sessions have been with psychos, and Patrick Bateman is the crème de la crème of mentally unhinged axe-wielding crazies, who possess a killer set of abs. The 27-year-old New York investment banking executive – who disconcertingly sounds exactly like fashion designer Tom Ford ¬– may not be trusted not to slam an axe into the back of our pretty little heads, but we can’t deny we are suckers for luxe bathroom amenities.
Keeping one eye open whilst we get our mack on with this perma-tanned playboy sounds like a very good investment!”
9. Marybeth Louise Hutchinson – The Faculty
Spoiler alert! Marybeth is, like, really good at applying her make-up. Not only did 1998 teen sci-fi horror The Faculty introduce us to hotties Josh Hartnett, Elijah Wood, and Jordana Brewster, it also revolutionised the way we think and feel today about making out with alien parasites.
Maybe it’s her Southern drawl, but we could totally forgive Marybeth’s transformation later on in the film for just one kiss.
10. The She-Gremlin – Gremlins 2
By Portis Wasp