Gwyneth Paltrow Wants You To Get Your Vagina Steamed

You wouldn’t have thought the author of a blog called ‘GOOP’ would be one to trust with vaginal advice, but Gwyneth Paltrow has fired some shots on the safe keeping of your lady parts.

The kale and cleanse diet advocator has shared her thoughts on ‘V Steaming’ on her blog, calling the treatment “a real golden ticket” - the first and probably last time Willy Wonka will be compared to a vagina spring clean.

The process, which is less wiggling a kettle spout round your nethers and more perching on “what is essentially a mini-throne” (Gwyn’s words, not ours), the V Steam is an absolute essential for those who find themselves at a loose end in LA.

Its benefits apparently include: stress reduction, period regulation, cramp minimising and it supposedly helps cases of infertility. All of which sound pretty miraculous TBH - probably why there doesn’t appear to be anywhere in the UK that will do it.

But. Gwyn reckons that a combination of infrared and mugwort steam is what sorts your ladyland out, so why not DIY? Get your hands on some Mugwort tea and blast it with a laser pen - boil it up and steam away for stress free vaginal cleansing. Cheers Gwyneth!

DISCLAIMER: Obviously va-jay specialists have raced to discredit Gwyneth's top tip for keeping a squeaky uterus, with one Dr Gunter suggesting "Herbal steam is no better and quite possibly worse". YAWN.