Halsey Reveals She Suffered A Miscarriage On Tour And Performed Just Hours After
The 21-year-old singer opened up to Rolling Stone about a moment in her life when she began to question everything.
The music industry is a testing place for those trying to make it, but for Halsey it changed the way she dealt with a life altering moment.
The 21-year-old singer, who has worked with the likes of Justin Bieber, has revealed she suffered a miscarriage while on tour last year, going on to perform just hours after.
Speaking to Rolling Stone in a particularly emotional interview, Halsey tells of the moment she was in a hotel room in Chicago, questioning what the pregnancy would mean.
"What happens? Do I lose my record deal? Do I lose everything? Or do I keep [the pregnancy]? What are the fans going to think? What are the moms going to think? What is the Midwest going to think? What's fucking everyone going to think?"
She then goes on to describe the moment she woke up in a hotel room, screaming, naked from the waist down and bleeding.
"I'm like, 'I have to cancel this show!'" She recalled, "And everyone's kind of like, 'Well, it's Vevo LIFT, and it's 3 million impressions, so ...' No one knew what to do."
Instead she sent her assistant to buy adult diapers and painkillers, and went to the venue to perform.
"It's the angriest performance that I've ever done in my life," she admitted. "That was the moment of my life where I thought to myself, 'I don't feel like a f--king human being anymore.'"
She went on to explain: "This thing, this music, Halsey, whatever it is that I'm doing, took precedence and priority over every decision that I made regarding this entire situation from the moment I found out until the moment it went wrong. I walked offstage and went into the parking lot and just started throwing up."
"I beat myself up for it," she tells RS writer Alex Morris, whose own miscarriage story inspired Halsey to open up to her. "Because I think that the reason it happened is just the lifestyle I was living. I wasn't drinking. I wasn't doing drugs. I was fucking overworked – in the hospital every couple of weeks because I was dehydrated, needing bags of IVs brought to my greenroom. I was anemic, I was fainting. My body just broke the fuck down."
But it's still something she wants, more so than any record deal.
"I want to be a mom more than I want to be a pop star," she said. "More than I want to be anything in the world."
Halsey has since tweeted about the article, telling followers:
Check out the full interview on Rolling Stone here.