What's All This About Harry Styles' Penis Becoming The Face Of A Brand?
We don't really understand.
Tuesday, July 21, 2015 - 15:30
Just when we thought we'd heard it all when it comes to One Direction, and Harry Styles in particular, a story regarding their foreskin has surfaced.
Sorry for using the f-word, but it is anatomically correct.
The Canadian Foreskin Awareness Project, which apparently is actually a real life thing, wants Harry to become the new face of their campaign.
WHAT IS LIFE ANYMORE.
Founder of the project, Glen Callender, wants to say goodbye to the stigma regarding uncircumcised man bits, and apparently Hazza is just the guy for the job.
"I'm quite confident most, if not all, of [One Direction's] cocks are intact and that's what we want. I think a lot of their fans don't even understand that these young beautiful men they idolise have all their penis intact so we have to educate them. That's the point of all this. We have to go out and change these perceptions that foreskin is yucky and gross," he told Noisey.
No, none of this makes sense but we're sticking with it because Harry Styles.
Glen added: "The entire band I’m sure are very healthy and handsome men and there’s nothing wrong with them at all so of course this will only make the Can-FAP cause more visible."
Of course the only truth in the fact that he's not actually been circumcised is from the National Enquirer, who claim it's the reason Taylor Swift dumped him.
Sure. Suuuure.
52 Things You (Probably) Didn't Know About One Direction
-
1) Harry claims Niall is the best kisser. Katy Perry seems to think so too! -
2) When One Direction's debut album Up All Night got to #2 in the charts, he bought a mattress to celebrate. -
3) Niall’s most starstruck moment was meeting David Beckham. Understandable. -
4) Liam's most starstruck moment was when he met Jay Z. -
5) Harry was attacked by a goat when he was 10. -
6) Niall’s left-handed but actually plays the guitar right-handed. -
7) The band co-wrote four songs on their first album - Taken, Everything About You, Same Mistakes & Save You Tonight. -
8) Niall's old email address, before 1D fame, was ‘da_pimp_is_here@hotmail.com’. -
9) Liam and Niall have the same middle name, James. -
10) Louis is the one who discovered 5SOS on their YouTube channel and picked them as 1D's support act. -
11) Niall has a secret baking talent (his dad says he makes the best cupcakes). -
12) Niall wants to propose to his future girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, like his dad did to his mum. AWWW. -
13) Harry had the most solos on the band's first album at 7:18 minutes. -
14) Liam had the second highest number of solos, wracking up 7:08 minutes. -
15) Zayn and his angelic voice (RIP) had 5:38 minutes of solo time. -
16) In a criminal turn of events, Louis only had 1:29 minutes of solo singing... -
17) And Niall had the lowest amount of solos of the whole album, getting just 1:24 minutes of time. -
18) The band made it into the Guinness World Records for being first British group in US chart history to debut an album at #1. -
19) They've been nominated for 324 awards throughout their career and won 166 of them. -
20) They've won 4 BRIT Awards, no biggie. -
21) On their second album Take Me Home, members of the band co-wrote two songs, Last First Kiss and Back For You. -
22) Between them, the band co-wrote 12 out of 14 tracks on third album Midnight Memories. -
23) On the album Four, they co-wrote 10 out of the 12 songs (12 out of 16 if you count deluxe, which we so do). -
24) Niall is a natural brunette. WHAT IS THIS LIFE? -
25) Each member has said their favourite place in the world is 'home'. So cute. -
26) To hire One Direction for the night (just for a gig, annoyingly) it’d cost over £30,000. -
27) Harry applied to be a lifeguard back in the day. JUST IMAGINE THAT FOR A SECOND. -
28) In May 2012, Liam dropped his MacBook Pro on his foot, which broke his toe. -
29) Louis appeared for like 1 full second in the ITV drama If I Had You. -
30) Niall has only ever read the first page of Fifty Shades of Grey, which a fan gave to him. SURE. -
31) Louis started his own record label called 78 Productions and made his mum the co-director... -
32) The first signing to his label was X Factor finalist Jack Walton and he's holding auditions for a new girlband, too. -
33) Niall's biggest dating turn-off is a ‘ridiculous laugh’. So that's us out of the running, then. -
34) Harry’s biggest turn-off is when his date is late. A stickler for time, our Haz. -
35) Over the course of four tours, the band will have performed 327 concert shows. -
36) According to The Sunday Times’ Music Rich List, 1D made £25 million EACH in 2014. Crikey. -
37) If they were in a horror film, they all reckon Niall would die first. Soz. -
38) Liam reckons 1D’s fifth album will be ‘a bit Oasis-y’, which we're sure Noel Gallagher is thrilled about. -
39) Every single member of the band has been rumoured to join the X Factor judging panel, but they've all just been rumours sadly. -
40) Ed Sheeran has said that Harry doesn’t have a ‘little thing’, which is good to know. -
41) The band have only had three UK #1 singles, which is an absolute outrage when you think about it. -
42) Harry has written songs for Ariana Grande, Gaven DeGraw and Alex & Sierra... -
43) And he most recently wrote with Meghan Trainor for her song Someday Maybe, which Meghan will release with another male vocalist, probs. -
44) Louis was once dumped by text, which proves it happens to the best of us. -
45) Harry has been linked to no less than 15 human girls over the years, the latest being talent manager Joy Muggli. -
46) Even though 1D are now a foursome, they said they never considered bringing a new member in (despite what all the tabloids said). -
47) When it comes to style, Harry has a proper aversion to shirt buttons, according to One Direction's stylist. -
48) Liam’s style through the years is apparently the 'most improved' - he used to refuse to wear colour, patterns AND stripes in the fetus days. -
49) Niall is apparently very uninterested in clothes, but stylist Caroline thinks he’s turned a corner since he started wearing boots. What a drastic move. -
50) The band's favourite song from their album Four is Where Do Broken Hearts Go. -
51) Combined, the band have 4,000 tattoos (we just made that number up, but they do have a lot). -
52) UM, THEY’RE ALL PERFECT. Do we even need to say anymore (please don’t make us).
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