The 6 Stages Of Coming To Terms With Harry Styles's Social Media Silence
Harry Styles has been too quiet on social-media.
Even though Harry Styles has always been mysterious on the social-media front (most of his posts sound like an automated robot signed off with a loving 'H'), the last few months have been particularly sparse when it comes to updates.
Despite the odd tweet to mark a national holiday, his feed has been one massive abyss of nothing-ness - which, for anyone with an appreciation for his updates, has been a tough pill to swallow.
Still, the only solace we can find in this drought is that we are – at least - all going through the next six stages together.
1. "It’s totally fine. A short break from social-media is healthy."
The fact that he's withdrawn from social-media is a responsible decision. It shows growth. It shows that he's willing to take a step back and reflect on what he wants from life. It's an admirable, sensible, and completely non-problematic thing to do.
2. "Infact, his minimal approach to words is something to be celebrated."
No brashy Twitter spats here. No, sir. N-O-P-E.
Harry understands the implication of his words. He carefully analyses every sentence before unleashing it on the world. Isn't that a wonderful thing? Isn't that an absolute DELIGHT?
3. "Besides, this level of patience won’t go unrewarded. Better things are coming."
There's a push-and-pull to the way the world works, and there's a reasonable explanation to why this silence has invaded our lives. It's simple, really. He's plotting a grand return. It's practically step one in the solo-career handbook.
He's just cleansing our palette, that's all.
4. "He’ll crack eventually. His finger is practically *hovering* over that RT button."
But seriously, does he even login anymore? Has he deleted the App? Or does he carefully scroll through his feed every day, absorbing all the information but never contributing to the discussion?
Why *didn't* he do an Ed Sheeran and announce he'll be scaling back on the social media? Did he think we wouldn't NOTICE? Did he think it wouldn't BOTHER US?
5. "Scratch that: There is no life. There is no hope. Death is coming for us all."
The last flicker of hope has been finally been extinguished. There is no return. There is only emptinesss - vast, hopeless emptiness, and a fading memory of the time he used to tweet about eating breakfast cereal at inappropriate times of the day.
6. "This is it now: Stone-cold acceptance."
If this is what 2017 has in store for us, we must face it bravely and without complaint. We must hold on to hope that the makings of a thousand great posts are just tiny little saplings in Harry's brain.
That with the right nourishment - and under the right circumstances - he'll be ready to share his most inspiring thoughts with the world once again.
In the meantime, all we can do is wait.
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