Morning Roundup 31/07/09

Check out this morning’s headlines…

Friday, July 31, 2009 - 10:00

SuBo to Rock America

Susan Boyle, the fuzzy-haired warbler that didn’t win Britain’s Got Talent, is hopping across the Atlantic to treat her adoring American public to songs from her forthcoming album.

Jude’s Baby-Mama Named

The identity of the mum of Jude Law’s embryonic love-child has been revealed: it’s 24-year-old “aspiring actress and model” Samantha Burke.

Granny Jackson Gets Custody

Michael Jackson’s mum Katherine has been granted custody of the King of Pop’s three nippers. Debbie will pop in and see them occasionally…

MJ 02 Replacements Found

Promoters AEG have apparently found TWO replacements for the now vacant MJ dates at the 02… Robbie Williams and Whitney Houston! Ah well.

Shakira Wants Babies

Shakira’s child-baring hips don’t lie: she wants kids and she wants them now! “I want to reproduce so bad!” screamed the Colombian.

Lewis Wants Babies

Lewis Hamilton wants to impregnate his Pussycat Doll girlfriend Nicole asap. “I want to reproduce so bad!” screamed the Formula One drive (kind of).

Paris Wants Rid of her Sex Tape

Paris Hilton has talked about the sex tape that made her the world’s most famous porn star. “It was definitely very painful,” she said of the experience. It looked it.

Headlines

Morning Roundup 31/07/09

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