MTV Review | Hercules
We give our verdict on Hollywood hunk The Rock - AKA Dwayne Johnson's - latest big screen adventure...
UK Release Date: July 25
Running Time: 98mins
Cast: Dwayne Johnson, Ian McShane, John Hurt, Joseph Fiennes
Director: Brett Ratner
Plot: Hercules (Johnson) is a tougher-than-thou sword and sandal mercenary whose dad is a total ledge! With his band of merry men (and woman) they seek one final payday so they can all retire and laze around in togas eating grapes and drinking wine, one would imagine. The King of Thrace (Hurt) hires these hard-men (and woman) to defend his kingdom against a marauding hoard of horse riding baddies. But has the King of Thrace (Hurt) greased up Ancient Greece’s greatest warrior for his own evil ends…Best Scene: Hercules finds himself chained up in a torture dungeon. The King of Thrace’s daughter is about to lose her head (literally). Hercules must muster the guster and his God-like strength to break the chains and save the day (and her royal head.)
Best One Liner: “F**king Centaur!” Hercules drops a heroic F-Bomb after he Layeths the smack down on a… horse.
Date Movie or Mate Movie: This whole movie is basically a bunch of besties taking on the world (well, Ancient Greece) and having epic-LOLz along the way. Therefore: Mate Movie.
Scene Stealer: Other than Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s massive neck, the amazingly attractive Amazonian, Atalanta (Ingrid Bolsø Berdal) shows off some unbelievable tekkers with a bow and arrow on a Thrace battlefield.WTF Moment: When Ian “Lovejoy” McShane’s Amphiaraus faces a painful fate as a squadron of flaming arrows very nearly sends him to meet the Greek Gods in person.
Summary: Hercules is totes ridic! It’s also totes short for a big budget summer blockbuster (which given the blockbuster of a summer we’re having is great because we should be outside sunning our guns instead of sitting inside a cinema getting fat on hyper-inflated popcorn.) Ratner rattles along the action like a pimped up chariot and some of the lines are deliciously preposterous. “If only your manhood was as long as your tongue,” being my personal fav. Dwayne Johnson’s Hercules rocks and he plays the demigod wrestling with the weight of expectation on his mahoosive shoulders and delivers his lines with a muscly tongue firmly in his muscly cheek. His acolytes are also on hand to deliver many fine comedy flashes in this film, which takes itself about as seriously as the current Mayor of London.
By Michael Currell @MTVUK