Yeezus Walks! The Kanye West Bible And The Ten Ka-mmandments
It had to happen sooner or later...
Easter is a time of celebration as it marks the resurrection of Jesus Christ as told by the bible.
So it must’ve come as a surprise when a new and revamped version of the holy book, aptly named, ‘The Book Of Yeezus’ appeared online.
That’s right, three brothers have gone the extra mile in Kanye West worship by recreating a version of the bible, which replaces all mentions of ‘God’ with ‘Kanye’ or ‘Yeezus’.
The book, which is available on Etsy for $20, was dreamed up by its creators as a novelty coffee table read to celebrate the ‘I Am A God’ rapper, fashion designer and musical mastermind, who many still believe launched Paul McCartney's career.
I hear her speak to me
Hello 'Mari, how ya doin'?
I think the storm ran out of rain, the clouds are movin'
I know you're happy 'cause I can see it
So tell the voice inside ya head to believe it
I talked to God about you, he said he sent you an angel
And look at all that he gave you
You asked for one and you got two, mmhm
You know I never left you
'Cause every road that leads to heaven's right inside you
So I can say
Hello, my only one, just like the mornin' sun
You'll keep on risin' 'til the sky knows your name
Hello, my only one, remember who you are
No, you're not perfect but you're not your mistakes
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Oh, the good outweighs the bad even on your worst day
Remember how I'd say
Hey, hey, one day, you'll be the man you always knew you could be
And if you knew how proud I was
You'd never shed a tear, have a fear, no, you wouldn't do that
And though I didn't pick the day to turn the page
I know it's not the end every time I see her face, and I hear you say
Hello my only one, remember who you are
You got the world 'cause you got love in your hands
And you're still my chosen one
So can you understand? One day you'll understand
So hear me out, hear me out
I won't go, I won't go
No goodbyes, no goodbyes
Just hello, just hello
And when you cry, I will cry
And when you smile, I will smile
And next time when I look in your eyes
We'll have wings and we'll fly
Hello, my only one, just like the mornin' sun
You'll keep on risin' 'til the sky knows your name
And you're still my chosen one, remember who you are
No, you're not perfect but you're not your mistakes
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Tell Nori about me, tell Nori ab-
I just want you to do me a favor
Tell Nori about me, tell Nori about me
Tell Nori about me, tell Nori about me
Tell Nori about me, tell Nori about me
Tell Nori about me, tell Nori about me
Tell Nori about me, tell Nori about me
Shedding light on all the blasphemy, the book's product description reads:
"Each generation champions a superstar, so consistently relevant that they come to accompany that generation through its evolution, being a part of and ultimately shaping its identity.
"Such past icons have been the likes of Frank Sinatra, Marilyn Monroe, John Lennon, or Michael Jackson. For this generation, Generation Y, Kanye West is not only its greatest spectacle, but in some senses, a spiritual figure."
Kim Kardashian is yet to confirm the number of copies she’s ordered, or if Daddy can expect a personalised copy from North West this Father’s Day, but we’re in love with the idea all the same.
With that in mind, here are Ten Commandments or rather ‘Ka-mmandments’ we'd like to see feature in this biographical account of the 'Jesus Walks' star...
TEN YEEZY KA-MMANDMENTS:
1. Thou Shall Name Their Children After Directions On A Compass
2. Thou Shall Not Use The Yeezus Name In Vein
3. Thou Shall Only Wear Only Balmain, Givenchy, Valentino Or Equivalent
4. Thou Shall Not Bleep Any Subsequent TV Performance Of ‘All Day’
5. Thou Shall Admit Beyoncé Had ‘One Of The Best Videos Of All Time’
6. Thou Shall Respect Beck And Taylor Swift’s Contribution To Music
7. Thou Shall Admire Kim Kardashian’s Naked Body
8. Thou Shall Always Tweet In Capital Letters
9. Thou Shall Not Leak New Album, So Help Me God
10. Thou Shall Bow Before Me At Glastonbury On June 27 – Judgement Day
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