14 Times Kylie Jenner Almost Gave Us An Actual Heart Attack
We can't even take it.
Kylie Jenner is trying to kill us. Yes, you read that right. Not a week goes by when Kyles doesn’t drop/post/do something that almost gives us a heart attack. Srsly our doctor says we have the aortic strength of a 73-year old woman.
1. When she dropped hints about the new ‘Kylie Shop’…
WTF even is it? WE NEED TO KNOW.
2. When Kylie and Tyga were ‘stimulated’…
When 17-year old Kylie started dating 25--year old rapper Tyga the world was in turmoil. HOW WAS KRIS ALLOWING THIS? What are those lyrics? We go over it and the shipping started soon after.
3. The Kylie lip kits…
When Queen of lips Kylie dropped her lip kits we legit almost died. The true heart troubles came when we tried to buy one online. Coachella tickets were easier to land. Life would never be complete until we had Candy K in our actual hand.
4. When we thought she might be the lead singer of Terror Jr…
Our excitement knew no limit. Kylie the pop star? The world was brighter, sounds were clear and cartoon animal followed us to the shops. Then she denied it and the world was grey again and Kim was the only Kardashian ‘singer’.
5. Those Lips…
Nothing takes up more of our thoughts than King Kylie’s lips. How are they doing? How big are they today? What is she wearing on them? What lip balm does she use? By the time she admitted to lip fillers and the Kylie Jenner Challenge surfaced, we were too far gone.
6. Her daily bod…
Dat bod doe. Our hearts can’t take the daily jealousy, raciness, confusion at how she says she doesn’t work out as she posts increasingly saucy Instas. Hello recent nipple ring!
7. When she split with Tyga…
Everyone remembers where they were when Ky and Tyga split. It’s just one of those things. Rumours flew of him cheating and she was crying. We didn’t know what to do. We were lost. Then they got back together and never spoke of it again. So we put it in a box in the back of our mind and locked it like all healthy people.
8. When she dropped her Glosses video…
Glosses. Kylie, Guns. Nuff said.
9. That Blac Chyna selfie…
WHAAAAAAAAT? We thought they were feuding? How is this happening? Does Tyga know? We need to lie down.
10. When she debuted this ring…
As if Kylie wears that big a diamond on her wedding finger and doesn’t expect us to thing she is ENGAGAED. We love being catfished, don't even worry about it.
11. Every single hair cut ever…
Kyles changes her hair more than we change our underwear. Okay not, really, we’re not as gross as that. *cough* Blue, green, pink, teal, blonde, red…HELP US. Do you know how mortifying to say ‘I love Kylie’s new blonde’ and someone look at you with a pitying, ‘babes…’ DEATH.
12. When she posed naked…
Kylizzle isn’t known for her demure photoshoots so we get a bit hot under the collar at most but her recent Complex magazine photoshoot was even a bit heart-stopping for us. Nudity and latex? On a Monday morning. Jeepers.
13. When she went all Puma not addidas…
When Kylie hooked up with Puma for a campaign we had one panicked thought: whatwas Kanye going to say? We’re not fully sure of what the outcome was but we’re pretty sure he wasn’t that chuffed. Srsly, our hearts can’t take it.
14.The Kylie Cosmetics shop…
An actual place to walk in and physically buy lip kits and Kyshadows? We die. If we live that long, cos she keeps droppings hints like bombs to our souls.
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