Are Gay and Bisexual People Better At Sex?
A new survey suggests yes.
Gay and bisexual people are better in bed than straight people - at least according to new research. If you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community, this might not come (cum?) as much of a surprise. What can we say? We’re just great at sex.
Jokes aside, the study carried out by psychology researchers at Chapman University concludes that there’s a notable orgasm gap between heterosexual men and women. One that doesn't seem to exist for people in same sex relationships.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, it’s heterosexual men who report that they are most likely to achieve orgasm, with 95% of those who took part in the research responding to say that they always come during sex.
Interestingly though, gay and bisexual men aren’t far behind at 89% and 88%, while gay women come in at 86%. But then there’s quite the gap before we get to bisexual women at just 66% and heterosexual women at 65%.
So what does this mean? While straight men seem to be climaxing most regularly, there’s a notable level of women who aren’t – and these are more likely to be women who have sex with men, because gay women are comparatively achieving a much higher number of orgasms.
And the proof doesn’t end there. In a separate study conducted by researchers at the University of Arkansas, scientists also found that women who have sex with women are 33% more likely to orgasm than those who have sex with men. What’s more, women in same sex relationships said they orgasmed on average 55 times a month compared to women in straight relationships, who averaged just seven orgasms.
While it would be easy to conclude that gay and bisexual people are just better at sex, there’s probably a little more to it - and maybe we need to reframe the question to: why are people in same sex relationships finding sex more mutually pleasurable?
First up perhaps there’s something to be said about the different ways women and men’s bodies work and how easy or hard it is to achieve orgasm. We probably also need to consider the different ways people of different sexualities have sex compared to how they orgasm. For instance, the first study found that women were more likely to orgasm if they received more oral sex, had longer duration of sex, were more satisfied in their relationship, asked for what they wanted in bed, praised their partner for something they did in bed, tried new positions, had anal stimulation, acted out fantasies and even expressed love during sex.
They were also found to be more likely to achieve orgasm if their last sexual encounter included deeper kissing and foreplay alongside vaginal intercourse.
As Professor Frederick, lead researcher on the study at Chapman University, tells CNN: “Women have higher body dissatisfaction than men and it interferes with their sex life more. This can impact sexual satisfaction and ability to orgasm if people are focusing more on these concerns than on the sexual experience.
“There is more stigma against women initiating sex and expressing what they want sexually. One thing we know is that in many couples, there is a desire discrepancy: One partner wants sex more often than the other. In heterosexual couples, that person is usually the man.”
Ultimately, sex is clearly an individual experience that can’t necessarily be generalised into a numerical formula. It’s all down to you and your partner(s) in terms of the pleasure you experience. And while orgasms are definitely enjoyable and something to be aiming for in sex, it’s true that they aren’t the only part of sex that’s enjoyable. There’s something to be said for the closeness and deepening of your emotional relationship.
So society and culture has it's part to play, but this is still interesting research because it’s a reminder that mutual pleasure should be fundamental in every sexual relationship we have. Because if you are in a situation to have an orgasm, why wouldn’t you want to? And if your partner is too, then why wouldn’t you want them to have an orgasm too?
If you’re in a same sex relationship then perhaps this research suggests you have an advantage in that you have a basic idea of how your partner’s body works: it’s probably similar to your own and while no one is identical in what turns them on, it is definitely not a disadvantage. Those in heterosexual relationships – and in particular men and women who want the woman in the relationship to have a mutual level of pleasure, which hopefully includes every single person in a hetero sexual relationship – may have to work harder: you have to ask more questions and be vocal telling and showing your partner what you do and don’t like.
It feels like a lot of the sexism we encounter in sexual situations is rooted in our cultural tradition of gender roles. He/she relationships are perhaps the most visible examples of where this sexism exists, but LGBTQ+ relationships aren’t immune from the effects of gender roles either.
While assigned gender roles thrust upon us are feeling more and more obsolete, until we can unpick the sexism of these expectations as a basic level, they will go on to affect us all – whether you’re in a relationship that’s gay, straight, lesbian, poly or any other.
And let’s not forget that sex should be active and not passive – no matter your sexuality, don’t accept selfish behaviour as fact and don’t be afraid to look out for yourself and your own orgasm.
What does it mean to be intersex? Watch below to find out more >>>