10 Housemates You’re 100% Guaranteed To Meet At Uni

Ah, University. The one time in life where you’re justified in wandering around town in a full-length dressing gown and surviving on 50p noodles. Also the place where you’re forced to muddle along with a bunch of usually-quite-eccentric housemates for a solid three years.

The good news is that spending time with people you’d have actively avoided in sixth form both pushes you out of your comfort zone and does away with some of those tired clichés about high-school cliques. 

Let's all get checking out Munroe Bergdorf chatting about internet trolls...

But even so, there are just some stock characters who you’re 100% guaranteed to stumble across. 

1. The glamour girl who never looks anything less than flawless. 

This woman is an inspiration to us all. Not only is her Instagram profile a carefully cultivated shrine of some of the most on-point selfies going, but she even manages to pull off campus chic without looking a) overdone or b) like she’s made even the slightest bit of effort. Boo. 

2. The rugby lad who drinks beer for breakfast and throws up 24 hours a day.

This guy views the whole Uni experience as a precious few years in which to consume every single type of alcohol on the planet. He’s loud, brash, kind of annoying, and has a penchant for stamping up the stairs at 4am after a night of cider-fuelled hijincks. 

3. The person who has never had a sip of alcohol before.

This poor sweet innocent probably grew up with super strict parents and is now running riot with all the freedom at their disposal. It’s safe to say this guy/gal goes off the rails in the first few weeks, before quietly sorting their shit out by the time Spring term commences.  

4. The virgin.

For whatever reason, this person has headed off to Uni with their V-plates firmly in place; a topic that ~probably~ became public knowledge in the first house game of Never Have I Ever. It soon becomes something of a team mission to find someone for this inexperienced Casanova to hook up with. 

5. The stoner.

This guy/girl probably has socialistic ideals, reads a lot of Plato, and plays vinyl records from the 70s in a room that - cliché or not - is probably plastered with posters of Che Guevara and Bob Marley.  

6. The person who has absolutely no life skills to speak of.

Aside from almost burning down the house in the first week, this dope is completely clueless when it comes to using the washing machine, working out a basic budget, and learning how to open an ironing board. They get by with a little help from their friends. And Google. Mostly Google.

7. The person who denies being a thief in spite of overwhelming evidence.

Everyone has their suspicions about who is stealing the milk and eating the supplies but all hell breaks loose when The Worst Thief Of All Time gets caught red-handed with *your* pitta bread on his plate. Case closed.

8. The dynamic duo

These two housemates are practically inseperable by the second week of term which throws a little bit of a spanner in the works when it comes to house dynamics.  

9. The posh one.

This person probably went to a presitigious fee-paying school and has a collection of the snazziest, most high-tech products at their disposal. Saving up for a MacBook? He’s got two. And an iPad. And a wardrobe that could cover your rent until Christmas.  

10. And finally, the chief hermit. 

This person made an appearance at the first Freshers event before going completely off the grid. The only time they’re ever seen in the outside world is when the fire alarm goes off at 3am and the whole house is forced to evacuate onto the street.

Let's just hope they're having a whale of a time in that box room.