10 Ways To Announce You've Broken Up Like A Celebrity
Oh you fancy huh?
We like to think that we are somewhat of a celebrity of our own life. It would be kinda depressing if we were't right? Like, if Cathy from work was the star of our existence. So we've decided to start acting more like a famous-type person and you should join us.
First up, annnouncing your new singledom like a star...
1. by deleting all traces of them from your social media…
Fans: Ariana Grande, Zayn Malik, Taylor Swift
Perhaps the most final of ways to announce that you are currently residing in Splitsville. Press delete on all those snaps of the two of you. When it’s gone from Insta, it’s gone from your heart.
2. Be spotted canoodling with someone else…
Fans: Kendall Jenner, Kristen Stewart, Rihanna
Your ex may be aware or not that you have a new squeeze on the go, but you can announces your demise to the world but starting a new relationship. It makes things pretty clear.
3. In a social post…
Fans: Calvin Harris, Iggy Azalea, Ruby Rose
Take to social media, usually Insta or Twitter, to say goodbye. That way you can tell all your adoring followers at once. Well, your work mates and some family. No one, that we know of, has announced it via Snapchat yet so you could be a pioneer. Just leave off the filter to be sensitive eh?
4. In a joint statement…
Fans: Demi and Wilmer, Miss Piggy and Kermit, Bella Thorne and Gregg Sulkin
The classiest of all split statements. This route is usually taken by long-time couples. Probs because if it’s ‘amicable’ then none of the skeletons would come spilling out the closet. Just us?
5. By filing for divorce…
Fans: Amber Heard, Angelina Jolie
Ah, the age old element of surprise. If you want to make it known that it was your choice to say ‘see ya’ then this is the way for you. Celebs usually leave this one for the people they feel have really wronged them. Very dramatic.
6. By telling a media outlet…
Fans: Tyga, Kourtney Kardashian
Now, us non-celeb folk would have a harder time achieving this one as Heat mag doesn’t give a shiz if you’ve dumped Gary for the third time this year. So probs substitute this one for a really gossip-y mate that literally can never keep a secret.
7. By taking off your ring…
Fans: Lady Gaga, Perrie Edwards, Emma Roberts
Want to give people an idea that things are on the rocks but not quite confirm it yet? Take off the ring/necklace/bracelet that he gave you. Okay, so maybe no one will notice because you aren’t a famous person but you can always subtly hint at it: ‘Oh you mean like that necklace I used to wear?’
8. With a vague social media musing…
Fans: Marnie Simpson and Lewis Bloor, Rob Kardashian
If you want to let everyone know that you’re on the rocks and heading for a break but you want them to ask you, pop a vague statement on social media like ‘When a door closes, the early bird catches the worm', or whatever it is. Voila, suddenly you’ve got a flurry of ‘U OK Hun?’ messages.
9. by unfollowing them…
Fans: Zac Efron, Selena Gomez
Make your announcement via social media but without words. Simply stop following your other half to announce that you’ve called it a day. Again, quite tricky if, literally, no one notices you’ve done it so you’ll just have to mention that you wouldn’t have seen his/her post as you don’t follow them anymore. DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN.
10. The ‘unacknowledge’…
Fans: Ellie Goulding, Cheryl
Suddenly your once joint-at-the-hip-only-ever-insta-post other half is oddly absent from you photos/posts/life. ‘How strange’ everyone thinks, ‘are they still a thing?’ NOPE SURPRISE, you’re not. Dramatic and keeps everyone guessing. So celeb.
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