11 Things That Take Longer Than Asking For Consent
There's really no excuse when you think about it...
“Would you like me to…?”
“Do you want to have sex?”
Here's Courtney Act's guide to sexual consent...
Whether it’s about foreplay or full-on sex, the time it takes to ask for consent averages out at an estimated 2.47 seconds. That’s not a proven stat – we just used an online timer.
Given that consent is the difference between sex and rape or sexual assault, we don’t know why anyone would take the risk of just guessing what someone may or may not feel like doing in the bedroom. Not asking what your sex bud wants is not just a recipe for bad sex in general, but could lead to real long-lasting trauma. So it’s up to us, even (and especially) in the heat of the moment, to pay close attention to how our partner is feeling and ask that vital question.
And considering it takes about 2.47 seconds to ask, we’ve all totally got no excuse for not doing it. In fact, here are some things that take longer than getting consent. Just to hit home even more about how unnecessary not asking is.
1. Watching your Uber arrive
Could that stupid little car move any slower across my phone screen?! Why is it turning around? Is it going back up the road I just watched it snail down for two whole minutes?!
Think about how much time you spend in your life watching little cars arrive at your location. You can definitely spare 2.47 seconds to ask for consent.
2. Setting up a Whatsapp group
Easiest thing in the world, but you’ve still got to choose the group icon, come up with a name that won’t age embarrassingly, and insert appropriate emojis.
You passed 2.47 seconds a while ago.
2. Waiting for your hangover to pass
We want to belong to a world where hangovers pass in less than five seconds, instead of potentially five hours. But we live in this world, and unfortunately it’s a lot less forgiving. Waiting for your hangover to end is a huge drag.
You know what isn’t? Asking for consent. Because we don’t know if we mentioned, but it takes approx. 2.47 seconds.
4. Sending your crush a selfie
You’re definitely not Gigi Hadid/ Zayn Malik enough to take an I-woke-up-like-this selfie to someone you fancy in 2.47 seconds. Firstly, the prep for this look took ages and secondly, you haven’t even thought about lighting and angles yet.
And then there’s mustering up the courage to actually send the final take. You’ve been here for a solid 10 minutes now.
5. Hair removal
Whether you preen by shaving your legs or your chin, hair removal takes AT LEAST five mins. So why not cut the bullsh*t and prioritise what’s more important when it comes to sexy time – hairless skin or consent.
To be fair, what with asking for consent only taking 2.47 seconds, you’ve probably got time for both. But either way, in consensual sex everything is sexy, so you don’t even have to worry about being a little furry.
6. Finding your ex’s new fling on Instagram
You’re a whizz at Insta-stalking, but even you couldn’t track down your ex’s new flame in the time it takes to ask for consent.
Maybe if you had 5 seconds…
7. Over-analysing everything
Sometimes it feels like you spend your life over-analysing things. Especially when you’re majorly freaking out about every tiny interaction between you and your crush, searching for meaning. DID SHE MEAN TO BRUSH MY COAT WITH HER BAG?
You’re going to ponder that question for the next couple of days, never mind seconds.
8. Drinking a milkshake
You could try, but you’d get a very painful brain freeze.
9. Creating your Insta story
Whether tagging people, writing captions or finding stickers to go alongside your pic, this process definitely takes longer than 2.47 seconds, and you do it all the time.
You know what else you should do all the time? Ask for consent.
10. Making the best food decisions
Choosing what type of fried rice you want with your Thai-style dish is no walk in the park. It may even take up to 15 minutes to double-check what everyone else is getting and trawl multiple times through the menu. What? You get food envy, ok?!
Asking for consent is far less time-consuming.
11. Reading this article
Yep, you’ve definitely been here for more than 2.47 seconds. In fact, if you’ve been reading this article properly you should have used that time up in the first paragraph. Definitely time well spent though, all-in-all.
Although asking for consent takes mere seconds (disclaimer: 2.47 seconds is only our guestimate) it makes all the difference, so we need to make sure we 100% know what our partner’s happy with every single time.
And that’s because (and it sounds pretty obvious) the key to fantastic, earth-shattering sex is when both people are feeling comfortable and having fun.
So enjoy - happy consensual-sex having!
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