11 Types Of Sex Partners You'll Probably Experience In Life

Sex is always a bit of an adventure because, before your first time with someone new, you have absolutely no idea how it’s all going to play out. One thing’s for sure: everyone’s got their own unique take on doing the dirty. Some in great ways, some in not so great ways...

Why not check out Courtney Act talking about bisexual dating struggles...

Here are 11 types of sex partners you’ll probably come across in your life...

The selfish one

This sex partner views you as an instrument for their personal pleasure. Their self-absorption is so extreme that at points you have to pinch yourself to remember you’re actually there. In this person’s opinion, pleasing them should be enough of a turn on for you. In fact, them unapologetically pushing your head or hands where they want them all night is a privilege that you should feel pretty damn grateful for. 

P.S. Unsurprisingly, this is also the one that probably won’t get an STI check for you and also won’t care about using a condom, ‘cos your safety or wellbeing isn’t a thing. Get. Out. Of. There.

 The arrogant one

This sex partner isn’t awful, just delusional. They think their bedroom moves are literal fire, though they’re underwhelming at best. Be prepared to be continuously told that you’re really enjoying yourself. No questions asked. 

Afterwards you’ll probably be in for a very generous analysis of the sexy time you’ve just had, thanks to their top quality loving.

The talkative one

There’s nothing wrong with whispering sexy words in the bedroom, but this sex partner takes it a step further. Instead of getting you all fired up, the sheer amount of chat is making you feel less and less excited, and more and more incredulous.

You start to feel like someone is narrating your every move. 

The cuddler

Who doesn’t love a good spoon? There’s nothing wrong with enjoying those warm fuzzy oxytocin feelings, but it’s when the allocated post-sex spooning time is over that this sex partner shows their true colours. You find out the hard way that they want to hold you ALL NIGHT. 

It may be hot, you may feel stressed or cramped into a corner of the bed, but this clinger will wait for you to adjust before reattaching to you for the night. Sweet dreams.

The pleaser

The pleaser is one of the best ones because they genuinely get a lot of pleasure from making you feel good. It’s not even a favour, it’s their sexual preference!

While some people feel a bit uncomfortable with all the attention, the pleaser will try to adapt to whatever makes you feel most fired up and ready to go. Sometimes they will even come armed with a sexy toy or a new bedroom party trick that they’ve literally been researching beforehand in order to give you the best time possible. Ideal.

The one with the fetish

You want me to do what? With my what?! This one can come as a shock. There are loads of funky fetishes out there and, while there’s nothing shameful about a fetish, it can definitely take you very much by surprise...

But hey, you may even end up discovering new realms of pleasure through this sex partner.

The obsessive

They have an obsession with just one of your body parts, and they really focus in on it. Total tunnel vision. In fact, they refuse to pay attention to any other part of your body. 

Weird. Not necessarily terrible... but can leave you feeling a bit weird.

The over-before-it-started one

This sex partner just gets way too excited, way too early. You’re just getting warmed up when all of a sudden they tense up, sigh contently, and roll over. Hang on... did that just happen? You just gonna stop now that you’ve got yours? 

This one needs to learn that sex is a two-way street. You'd like some sexual satisfaction too if that’s not too much to ask (it isn’t). 

The overly ambitious one

From the moment clothes start coming off, you’ll be taken on an adventure. The vibe is: nothing’s impossible. There will be many outlandish sex positions carried out per session in record time, you’ll be covering a wide range of furnitures/floors, and there may be surprises along the way.

There’s no dull moment with this sex buddy. Just make sure you do your warm-up stretches.

The one with a bucket list

You’re all comfortable in bed, warmed up and ready for some sexy time when this one suddenly interrupts with, “Shall we move this to my car?”

This sex partner is in it for the story they can tell later, which is why the last few times you’ve seen them you’ve never once done anything normal, like watch a film, do some bed loving and go to sleep. No, it’s always an attempt at doing it in a public place, in a vehicle, in a forest... the list goes on.

The dreamy one

You don’t necessarily expect it, but as soon as stuff starts happening with this one you realise they coincidentally like exactly what you like, there’s loads of chemistry, and things are just... easy. They’re a keeper. 

Look, we know great sex isn’t everything, but it’s very nice to have in your life all the same.