12 Awkward AF Boners All Guys Have Had
And none of them involve sex.
Boners. Great when you're in a sexy situation but less great when you're out and about minding your own business and realise you've unexpectedly got one at the worst possible moment.
Unfortunately awkward boners are absolutely a part of life for pretty much everyone with a penis.
But first, how well do people actually know thier way around a penis?....
One guy we asked to help us out with this even admitted: “I wrote to a Just 17 Agony Aunt when I was a kid because I kept getting boners. Her response was: ‘wear pants’.”
Not the most helpful advice, but at least you're not alone. Here's a bunch of the most common awks boners that we're guessing you might just have experienced.
1. At a school disco...
“I was wearing tracksuit bottoms so it was pretty tough to hide. All teenage boys wear tracksuit bottoms to a dance right?”
2. During P.E...
“My class was mixed so it was really awkward. I remember those loose-fitting Umbro shorts so well. They offered no resistance to the power of a pubescent boner.”
3. During a class talk...
“When I was in high school, we had to do a presentation on something related to WWII. Most people chose stuff like Pearl Harbor or the Eastern Front, but I chose Nazi weapon technology. My presentation itself was great. I had pics, visual effects, and a fuckton of info. However, just as I was explaining the MG42’s receiver, my little Hitler decided to give the class a hearty ‘Sieg Heil’. I never lived that down. People still know me as the ‘machine gun boner guy.’ - Reddit.
4. While watching porn with your mates...
“All younger guys watch porn with their mates. Either someone's dad had a couple porn tapes, or you found some porno mags in the woods. And obviously everyone lied when they watch porn, saying they'd also done those sex moves etc. We were clearly all virgins.”
5. During class as school...
“I had a friend at school who got detention because he refused to move seat during a History lesson - obvs because he had a boner.”
6. At the doctor...
Another dude from Reddit, tokke, admitted that his soldier stood to attention during an ultrasound of his scrotum. Wow.
7. When you're approaching your bus stop...
“Tbh, your boner has a sixth sense and knows when to get hard at inappropriate times.”
8. While driving...
“It’s a nightmare because all the blood rushes away from your head and you get really tired.”
9. When you’re exhausted and trying to sleep
“That’s the worst time and it’s always a really sore one!”
10. When your dog is lying on you...
“I’ve had to shoo the dog off until it calms down. You feel super weird when that happens.”
11. At the urinal when you need to pee...
“All you can do is literally will it away with concentration.”
12. At a funeral...
“I got one at my grandma’s funeral and I will never forgive myself.”
And now for the vagina. How well do people know thier way around them?...