13 Of The Worst People Present In Every Uni Seminar Group

Honestly, hell is other people.

Tuesday, October 3, 2017 - 11:00

Welcome to University, the place where great minds go to become even greater, and where drunk minds go to become even drunker. Aside from all the partying, casual hook-ups, and terrible budgeting going down in the first few weeks, the chances are you'll also have to do some actual work.

Let's all get checking out Munroe Bergdorf talking racism, sticking to your beliefs, and being fired from L'Oreal...

We hate to burst your bubble but those two-hour Seminar classes are more about learning how to not murder the people sat around you than discovering new angles in the texts you've read. Or haven't read. Whatever the case may be.

1. The person who literally never shows up to a single seminar.

God knows how this guy/girl gets away with it. Their name *is* on the register but the Seminar leader seems to have written them off as a lost cause at some point in the third week. Because life isn't fair, they'll probably still graduate with a decent 2.1 and land themselves a respectable job.

2. The mute.

This person shows up to every single class but says about three words in the entirety of the Uni term. Even more baffling, their essays are all around the 75 grade, which proves there's something to be said in pinching everyone elses ideas.

3. The person who does all the required and extra reading.

Looks like this keen bean is really gunning for that Seminar participation mark, but going into extreme detail about some obscure text they read about in the library probably isn't going to open up an interesting discussion. Show off.

4. The person who turns up without the text but still blags it.

How this person manages to come up with an intelligent point when they clearly don't know the first thing about Thomas Hardy is equal parts hilarious as it is annoying. Proof that confidence is genuinely all you need in life.

5. The person with a big fat crush on the Seminar Leader.

Everyone in the room can spot those blatant heart-eyes except the leader themselves. Poor innocent Dr Pullman thinks he finally has an enthusastic student who just happens to be super keen to attend all extra-curricular events. Absolute fool.

6. The person who never fails to mention their gap year in Africa.

Put a sock in it, Fiona. The same goes for that one girl who won't stop bleating on about the fact that she's descended from Queen Victoria. *

7. The person who just won't shut up. Ever. About anything.

In fairness, the entire class will have a bit of a love/hate relationship with this person. Hate because he/she is the physical embodiment of a migraine from hell, and love because at least there are no awkward silences to contend with.

8. The person who doodles in their notebook the entire time.

This guy/gal clearly has better places to be, but rocks up to class purely to get their name on the register and avoid a one-to-one meeting about their shoddy attendance. You've got to admire their hustle.

9. The person who brings their laptop and googles all the answers.

This student might have Microsoft Word open in the one window, but everyone knows that all of their more interesting points have come word-for-word from Shmoop or SparkNotes. And they're definitely watching Riverdale on the sly.

10. The person who could start a fist fight in an empty room.

Wow. Imagine caring enough about Thomas Hardy that you'd be prepared to launch into a 10 minute monologue about which of his novels is the most symbolic. Snooze.

11. The person who turns up high and/or drunk and clearly doesn't give a single f**k.

It's a miracle this person even managed to climb the steps to the room, but props to them for still showing up on time and keeping their eyes open for most of the class.

12. The person who signs in people who aren't actually there.

Shout out to the person who risks everything to help out a pal in need, but isn't it kind of unfair that Giles gets to stay in bed all day and still gets credit for turning up to a lesson that we had to suffer through?

13. The person who moans when the Seminar leader doesn't show up.

On the one hand, we've spent £9000 to get the best education going. On the other, absorbing a bit more information about Charles Dickens's background probably isn't going to do much for us on the job market anyway.