17 Things Only People Who Prefer Animals To People Will Get
People suck. Animals, in comparison, are too pure for this world. So this one’s for those of us who would rather spend a night in with our dog than hitting the town. Who would prefer snuggling up with the cat than a significant other. Scratch that, the cat IS our significant other.
Here’s 17 things only people who prefer animals to people will get.
Saying ‘I love you’ to another human being? Excuse you a second, brb just going to vomit.
Saying it to an animal approx 30 seconds after you meet? Yep.
Forget bloggers showing off their hashtagblessed lives - your instagram feed is 98% pet and animal fan accounts.
You ain’t sorry.
Which means that this is frighteningly accurate.
Still not sorry.
Your dog/cat/rat/parrot/lizard is the real MVP, and anyone who wants to date you needs to understand that from day one.
It's a ride or die type situation.
Tinder is for swiping right because that dog in the second pic is your soulmate.
Pity you have to talk to the human to get to his fluffy little face.
Because what you’re really looking for is this, tbh.
However if you DO meet someone you can stand enough to do the whole marriage thing with though, this is what your future looks like.
You know it's true.
If there’s a dog at a house party, it’s instantly 150x better.
Kevin’s doing a keg stand in the garden? Cba, you’re hanging with Baxter.
People tend to misinterpret your intentions fairly regularly.
Films ft. human tragedy = yeah bit sad. Films ft. animal tragedy/death = GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.
You can't even think about Marley and Me tbh.
Engagement/maternity photoshoots make you want to claw your own eyes out, but you’d very much like to see more of this.
You work for one reason and one reason only - so that you can buy stuff like this.
Why else does money exist though?
You also find it impossible to walk past an adorable animal without ‘introducing’ yourself.
When you see other people hanging out with puppies/kittens/any form of living creature, you literally feel a burning jealousy slash pain like no other.
If there is a Heaven and it doesn’t look like this, you don’t want to go.
Selfies? Naaaah, your camera roll looks more like this:
Because animals > people. It's just science.
- Words by Lizzie Cox.
Now check out this video for guys and girls trying to guess what weird sexting slang is for…