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19 Break-up Etiquette Rules That You Need To Follow

Or you people will call you an a-hole and we won't stop them...

Break-ups suck. Big time. So don't be a tit and make them worse that they need to be. Simply follow these simple ettiquette rules to come out of a split only looking half like an ass.

Yes, you'd think these were obvious but clearly the people we've dated MISSED THAT MEMO.

1. Never ever say you want to be friends…

This isn’t Central Perk a-hole.

2. The dumpee gets all Netflix rights…

No you may not watch the finale of 'Stranger Things' and it will be our life mission to make sure you NEVER know what happens to Eleven. She hates you, she told us.

3. Don’t blame the person that you are chucking…

You find me too harsh? Go die in a fire.

4. Never share those nudes you have in your camera roll…

That penis with a face drawn on was for your peepers only.

5. Do stalk your ex on social media but mind those chubby little fingers…

One random ‘like’ on an eight month old picture is not good news for anyone.

6. Don’t put it on one of their mates whether you were the dumper or the dumpee…

It’s not cute and it’s not classy. Even if your mate Ross said you were a ‘lad’ for thinking about it. Ross is a moron.

7. You don’t need to stay friends with their friends…

LET IT GO LOSER. Oooooh, is that what you mean about too harsh?

8. If you just split up with someone you don’t need to document the huge night out you went on later that day…

PUT THAT JAGER DOWN.

9. ...and no matter how drunk you get do not call the person you just dumped

And you will get very very drunk.

10. …and never ask them for no strings fun

That’s just plain rude.

11. Stay away from any family members…

We know our slutty granny was giving you the eye but hit that and we’ll cut you.

12. Don’t text them six months later with a private joke you used to share…

Why don’t you just pour bleach in our open wound instead? SOUNDS LIKE FUN.

13. If you are going to seek revenge keep the damage to under £100…

Anymore and you’ve got some legal problems, friend.

14. Never bitch about your ex to their mates…

Especially with visual props of his penis.

15. If you do accidentaly sleep with one of their friends deny ‘til you die…

You think we’d sleep with JOSH. ARE YOU HIGH? *deletes all whatsapp chats*

16. There’s no need for a passive aggressive Facebook status…

U OK HUN?

17. …or a Snapchat story of you tonguing someone

Who do you think you are? The new Miley?

18. Keep all contact after the dumping neutral and to a minimum…

No aubergine emojis allowed. Not up in here!

19. Do apply for Ex on the Beach…

'Cos nothing bad ever happened on the sands of Thailand/ Marbella/Cancun. *Cough*

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