21 Ridiculous Things You Do When You Fancy Someone
Urgh, it is the worst.
If you've clicked on this page, then we hate to break it to you, but have probably fancied upwards of three people throughout your life. Sucks to be you.
We're joking, of course, because we've all been unlucky enough to fall into the depths of 'liking someone and therefore living in a constant state of fear, possibly forever'. But if you've done any of these things, then we really feel your pain...
1. OK, you've woken up one day and realised, oh dear lord I have a crush, why do bad things happen to me?
Especially if you're a slightly shy person, which means you're going to go a delightful shade of red any time you come within 50 feet of this new inconvenience (aka crush).
2. Once you start coming around to the idea that you like someone, you sure as hell don't say anything about it
Because we all know that once you utter your crush's name, you jinx it. Keep your mouth shut.
3. But once you DO admit it nobody can shut you up
Of course, you confess your horrible secret on a night out with friends, and now it's out in the open you can't stop listing reasons WHY you like them. You have word vomit, and there's going to be tons more of it.
4. Even though you've now admitted it, you assume your crush has no interest in you
Because you don't want to seem too full of yourself, which is basically the most annoying thing in the entire world.
5. Social media stalking becomes your new form of exercise
Soon, you’re 86 weeks deep in their cousin’s Instagram page, desperately trying not to like something and sweating like you're in Mission Impossible.
6. If numbers have been exchanged, you reassess your texting game
TURN OFF YOUR READ RECEIPTS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
7. And then you send a risky, possible game changer of a text and proceed to throw your phone into the ocean
Or you know, just turn it onto Airplane Mode for a few hours until you finally give in and get one of your friends to check it.
8. Casual walk-bys are your new favourite thing
At a party and you know your crush is there? We've all done some serious laps of a garden in the hopes of casually bumping into them. Which is not sad at all.
9. You make an extra effort in your appearance... And all the wrong people notice
If someone utters the question, 'you look different' while you're in front of your crush, you are legally allowed to punch them in the throat.
10. If you were to enter Mastermind, your expert subject would be them
It's kind of terrifying how much information you can find out about a person on Facebook.
11. You start showing interest in their favourite hobby and pretend it's just a coincidence
"Um, I have ALWAYS loved Ju Jitsu, you obviously just don't pay that much attention."
12. This new hobby is also an excellent excuse to see them again - completely, totally by accident
They'll think it's fate, but only you'll know that you're a sneaky genius.
13. You try to befriend their friends in an effort to get the goss
"So... is Johnny/Sarah seeing anyone?"
14. In your head you're already married with kids and a mortgage
So it's understandable why you're getting slightly annoyed by the fact that your crush doesn't seem to realise this.
15. You turn to every rom com ever made to try and figure out how this whole thing will play out
Because you know those things are super accurate.
16. After a few days without any communication, you start to panic and play the whole thing down
"You know, I don't even think I like him/her like that."
17. So naturally you start considering the friends of your crush
You're only human, after all.
18. When you see them tagged in pictures with hot members of the opposite sex and you're like, no
Shall we not?
19. ... And then you realise it's just their (quite attractive) cousin
Hmm, likely story.
20. You start remembering your 'anniversaries' with them
'The first time you spoke', 'the day he added you on Facebook', the list goes on.
21. And you eventually crack under the pressure and tell them how you feel
LOL JK, you go into the witness protection programme and pretend none of this ever happened.