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The Usual Lies We All Tell Ourselves About A Lifetime Of Singledom

Probably isn't all it's cracked up to be.

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Monday, October 9, 2017 - 13:02

In a world where being single, independent, and totally fine with being alone is the goal we ~think~ we should be shooting for, it can be pretty easy to get bogged down in the concept that relationships are overrated and love is something we can all do without. 

But spare a thought for the people out there who have to defend their single status with a bunch of throwaway excuses about focusing on their career whilst secretly hoping that Chris Hemsworth will burst through the door clutching a marriage certificate. 

Let's all get checking out Munroe Bergdorf having her say on internet trolls...

"A life of solitude will do wonders for my bank account."

Wrong. From the amount of energy put into piecing together date-worthy outfits to the cost of a single G&T at some dreadful dive bar, a life of singledom doesn’t always correlate with living on a budget.  

For those who are screaming that not every single person in the world spends an obscene portion of their income on dates, there’s a good chance the very same people have a thriving social life waiting in the wings with a bunch of single pals. 

"Each and every single day is an opportunity to fall in love."

Technically, every time you wake up in the morning is the introduction to a 12-hour day in which you might meet the love of your life. All this in spite of the fact that thousands of days have gone past without so much of a glimpse at that mysterious thing called romance. 

"Being unattached gives me plenty of time to learn what I actually want from life."

While it’s true that being alone does cause you to focus all your energy on Number 1, being in a relationship doesn’t actually mean that you have stay fixed in the same role for all time until death do you part. 

Change happens whether you are or aren’t tied to another person, and falling for someone doesn't mean that all the more exciting parts of life are dead and buried forever. 

"I have one less person’s birthday/Christmas/Valentines gift to worry about."

This might technically be true, but it also means you have one less birthday, Chrstimas, and Valentine's Gift winging its way to you in return. Swings and roundabouts.

"There’s no fear that I’ll wake up at 40 with a nagging fear that I settled."

Then again what if you wake up at 40 with a nagging fear that you’ll be alone forever, cursing the fact that you never made any connections with people, and wondering if that date you mugged off in 2015 was actually the right one for you? Food for thought.

"I could literally quit my job this very second and decide to go travelling."

But will you, though? Probably not.

"I can go on a bunch of fun, exciting dates with interesting people."

More like you can go on a bunch of soul-destroying dates with people who you’d rather have ditched before the starter even came out, but now feel compelled to make conversation with out of sheer politeness.

"I’m focusing on my career right now."

Unless you’re working 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, there’s probably a good chunk of the day when work isn’t the first thing on your mind. And after all, nobody ever died wishing they’d spent more time filing tax returns.

\_(ツ)_/¯

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