Forget Real Movie Awards, We Invented A Few (Very) Unofficial Gongs Our Nominees Have Already Won
These lot are winning life
This weekend is the MTV Movie Awards and we’re basically beside ourselves with excitement. Superheroes, dinosaurs, STAR WARS…this year has had it all. How on earth (or in space) are we supposed to choose from all the amazing nominees for this year’s awards!?
Unfortunately, we will have to pick some actual winners soon, but all the nominees are winners at life in our eyes. So, we’ve decided to hand out a few gongs that aren’t totally official. Welcome to the alternative Movie Awards.
Best At Literally Changing The World: Malala
The documentary of Malala’s life (so far), He Named Me Malala, is up for best documentary but the story behind it has already won in all kinds of ways. Malala has been campaigning for better access to education for women around the world since she was 11. She was shot for speaking out in Pakistan but she carried on campaigning and has since taken her fight to the UN, the White House and around the world. Not only is Malala winning but she’s helping humanity win too.
Safest Sex: Fifty Shades of Grey
It’s no secret, there’s quite a lot of sex in Fifty Shades. As MTV Staying Alive found recently though, sex scenes in big Hollywood films just aren’t promoting safe sex enough. Contraception is rarely seen and when it is, it’s usually as a joke or an inconvenience. Not Fifty Shades though. It actually features condoms and doesn’t make a big deal about it, they’re just part of sex, as well they should be. Winners.
The Glowing With Pride Award: Lupita Nyong’o
Lupita is up for Best Virtual Performance for getting her wisdom on as Maz Kanata in Star Wars. Back in the day, before she was an Oscar winning mega-star, Lupita starred in the first series of our very own MTV Shuga. She helped us to educate people all over the world about HIV and we couldn’t be prouder of Lupita for how far she’s come. *beams *.
Best Real Life Superheroes: The Avengers
Kids (and adults) everywhere look up to the heroes of The Avengers with glittery eyed admiration every time they put out a movie, and they know this. Outside of the film the cast regularly don their costumes to complete awesome acts of superhero kindness in the real world, whether it’s Robert Downey Jr. giving an actual Iron Man arm to a young amputee or the cast visiting children’s hospitals clad in their full Avengers uniforms. When the camera stops rolling this lot don’t stop being heroes.
Best Promotional Campaign: Deadpool
Deadpool’s unconventional superhero antics didn’t stop at swearing, violence and general bad manners in the build up to the movie’s release. He also launched the brilliantly titled #TouchYourselfTonight campaign. The campaign used Deadpool’s unique sense of humour, and love of telling it exactly like it is, to raise awareness about the importance of checking for both testicular and breast cancer in a series of videos encouraging people to simply ‘touch yourself’.
Most Down To Earth Spaceman: John Boyega
John Boyega was close to unknown until Star Wars came along. He may have smashed it in Brit flick Attack The Block, but he was pretty much just a boy from Peckham with a whole load of untapped talent. He’s now the star of one of the biggest films in the world but he hasn’t changed one bit. From turning up at basically every premiere to hang with fans to taking Harrison Ford to his favourite small-time eatery in South London, John is still the great guy he’s always been, despite the fact that he’s now a household name.
The ‘Appearing Out Of Nowhere And Slaying’ Award: Daisy Ridley
Okay so this is basically the Breakthrough Performance award which Daisy is nominated for anyway but we think she deserves a special mention. Daisy was even more unknown than co-star John Boyega before The Force Awakens, but when she heard J.J. Abrams was after new talent she worked tirelessly to get in and wouldn’t take no for an answer. After being cast Daisy had a lot of weight on her shoulders but took it in her stride to become the strong female role model we were all dying to see in the new Star Wars. Yes, Daisy.
The Never Giving Up Award: Leonardo Dicaprio
Up for the Best Male Performance award at the Movie Awards, Leo has already got what he always dreamed of (we assume) this year by finally WINNING A BLOODY OSCAR. After so many years of missing out and endless memes reminding him of that, he only went and did it this year, didn’t he! Way to keep at it, Leo.
Most Coveted Bezzie: Jennifer Lawrence
Looking to snag Best Female Performance, J-Law has already snagged all of our hearts by proving that being yourself gets you places in this world. Her down-to-earth personality, inability to remain standing up at award ceremonies and championing of women’s rights everywhere means that there’s not a person alive who doesn’t wish they were Jen’s best friend, and we think she deserves some credit for that.
The Taking Absolutely No S**t Award: Amy Schumer
From consistently and brilliantly shutting down body-shamers to speaking candidly about sex and putting a swift end to those joke stealing rumours, Amy speaks her mind and wins all aspects of life. Not a moment goes by when she isn’t equal parts hilarious and empowering, love ya Amy.
So whatever happens tonight, the world is the real winner really, thanks to this lot.