Why Being Single In Summer Is Actually Kinda The Best
Ain't nobody got time for a bae when there's picnic food to eat
There’s a lot of times throughout the year when having a boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other seems like the only way to go.
Christmas is all about cuddling up in ugly pyjamas and blankets, Bonfire Night is basically designed for snogging under the fireworks, and even spending your birthday in a relationship means extra presents.
But trust us when we say that being single through the summer is absolutely the BEST plan you could possibly have.
If you’re about as far away from a relationship as it gets then have no fear. Step away from Tinder, don't text him back and declare yourself proudly SINGLE.
Here’s the essential guide to exactly why flying solo for the summer months is the one.
You can have a holiday romance
Alright, so it's fairly likely that your steamy one week relationship with a waitor called Georgios who served you 2-4-1 Sex On The Beach cocktails might not necessarily lead to years of commitment, but who cares?
Holiday romance on the beach equals a few exciting snogs with a beautiful stranger in the sunshine, and there ain't nothin' bad about that.
While the rest of your mates are on their best behaviour, buying souveniers and writing postcards home, you're allowed to go off on jet ski dates and share a bag of Lays with a lifeguard on the beach. Goals.
You don't need to cuddle in bed when it's hot
When the temperature soars in summer, there's honestly nothing worse than having to share your bed with someone, is there?
They probably smell a bit like an old ham from their journey home from work, and they're doubling the amount of sticky, sweaty limbs in one bed. Why are they alive and cursing you like this? WHY?
Stay single in the summer and you'll discover a whole new world just waiting full of cold sheets, cool pillows, accurately pointed bedside fans and naked starfishing to your heart's content.
You can go travelling as much as you want
Couple holidays might be kind of cute, but booking a trip entirely on your own terms, your own schedule and your own budget is WAY more fun.
Either head off on that mad one to Ibiza with your best pals and spend to weeks covered in glitter and sea water, or be brave and head out into the big wide world on your own.
You could book that meditation retreat in the Himilayas that you've had your eye on, you could discover your inner self while backpacking around Asia, or you could have a week in Disneyland to flirt with Gaston.
You can eat an entire barrel of ice cream for dinner
Being dragged along to the wedding of bae's second cousin twice removed and missing your BFF’s big barbeque of the year? Reheating the second half of that bolognese you made together last night?
Nope, not for the single pringles of summer. Dinner plans are down to you and you only.
Wanna invite everyone over for burnt sausages in a bun? Do it. Wanna slob out and eat an entire tub of ice cream on your own? Do it. Eat an entire box of freeze pops if you want.
Nobody will witness your underboob sweat
As much as the idea of a bit of summer shagging might appeal at first thought, the reality is that you’ve just spent the past eight hours accumulating various pools of sweat in nooks and crannies that you didn’t even know existed on your body.
A fondle in the sunshine will only lead to someone having a grope of your boob and recoiling in horror when they realise that your bra is literally stuck to your skin with sweat.
Not cute, but luckily the single’s can keep this little truth to themselves.
It's hot, and so is everyone else
It’s a scientific fact that the human race becomes 500% hotter when they can ditch the puffer coats and thermal vests in favour of aviators, jazzy Hawaiian shirts and awesome bikinis.
As a result, you’re probably gonna fancy everyone over summer - and that's okay.
Singletons can freely sit back, relax, perve at the pool bar while scoffing on a bowl of chips and contemplate completely guilt-free how everyone looks hot af with rocking a pair of sunglasses and a tan. HAPPY PERVING.
You can get fake tan all over your sheets
Anyone who’s ever fake tanned while in a relationship will be all too familiar with The Face.
The Face of your S.O. when you a) tell them they can’t touch you because you just applied, b) emerge in your truly disgusting onesie to avoid getting streaks, and c) get bright orange, permanently staining stuff all over their bed sheets. Sorry boo.
Single in the summer means you can wave goodbye to all of this, and live out your true daily destiny as a perfectly bronzed goddess.
You can wear hot af summer clothes for summer dates
People in long term relationships might try and convince you that the romance is still alive and well, but let's be real. Nuh uh honey.
MEANWHILE, you're getting yourself back-to-back cute beer garden dates booked in. You're dressing to impress and treating yourself to a dreamy new dress to wear. You're melting hearts left, right and centre while showing off your incredible new summer wardobe.
All in a day's work, single pringle, while relationship veterans spend another night in wearing trackies and tshirts.
Festivals are for friends only
The idea of heading off to a festival with your bee-eff or gee-eff might seem like a brilliant idea on paper, but get back to us after you've spent five days sharing a sweaty tent, hearing them moan about their wellie blisters and attempting a bit of sleeping bag sex.
Not cute, but proof that summer festivals when you're single are the DREAM.
Crowd surf your way into the arms of a mysterious, grubby looking band member and worry not one jot about your phone dying before you can let bae know that you'll meet them at the hot dog stand at 2pm.
Who cares if you don't shave your legs/pits/pubes?
If you're in a relationship with someone and they're commenting on how you handle your own body hair then you're in the wrong relationship ANYWAY, but being single only confirms the fact that you definitely don't need to worry about keeping your legs fuzz free.
Who's got time to get the razor or the wax strips out when there's picnic food to eat, gin in a tin to drink and dogs to pet? Not you, singleton.
Enjoy your slightly prickly summer and feel absolutely no regrets about the amount of stubble in your arm pits.
You can just do you all summer long
Summer is definitely not the time for hibernating with your honey - it’s the time for getting your fine self out in the sunshine, meeting new people, doing what you love and living your best damn life all by yourself.
Sack off spending time with people you don't actually like very much, pack that picnic, turn your tongue blue with freeze pops and have the best summer EVER.
Words by Lucy Wood
Now that we've settled that little dispute, how about checking out 7 celebs who dared to date a civilian?