Celebs Who Got Real About How Bloody Awful Periods Are
Even celebs are cursed with the magic of menstrual cycles, so here's 14 times famous ladies got real about their periods. Read 'em all over at MTV.co.uk.
Time of the month, on the blob, got the painters and decorators in, riding the crimson wave… Whatever you like to call your period, it’s a topic that’s weirdly satisfying to talk about. Never opened up about your heavy flow and your wide-set vagina to a mate? Try it, it’s important and we’re all gals here.
Even celebs, with their super shiny hair, ridiculously expensive wardrobes and perfect eyebrows like to have a chat about periods every now and again. Because, let’s be honest, Mother Nature doesn’t care whether you’re walking the red carpet amongt A-listers - she’s still gonna show up and ruin your best knickers whether you like it or not.
Here’s 14 awesome celebs getting REAL about all things menstruation, and proving that periods don’t get any less magical even when you’re rich and famous.
1. Demi Lovato, making us wonder why Period Parties aren’t more of a thing
“I told my mom and my sister … and they actually embarrassed me so bad,” Demi revealed to StyleWatch.
“My sister folded a poster board in half and made a card out of it and drew pictures, and it said, ‘Happy Period Day!’ She drew stick figures and kisses, and she used red markers … I have a pretty good sense of humour, so on one hand, I was totally embarrassed, and on the other, I thought it was awesome.”
2. Jennifer Lawrence, discussing her bloated uterus
Well obviously JLaw is gonna be fine with discussing her inner most menstruation mishaps. In true classic period style, her time of the month turned up when she was going to the actual Golden Globes. Cheers, Mother Nature.
“Plan A was a dress that I couldn’t wear because awards season is synced with my menstrual cycle, and it has been for years,” she told Harper’s Bazaar. The Dior dress she ended up wearing was “loose at the front. And I didn’t have to worry about sucking anything in. The other dress was really tight, and I’m not going to suck in my uterus. I don’t have to do that.”
3. Fay Ripley, making sure that you’ll never eat cereal in the same way again
Thought red slushies, strawberry jam and raspberry ripple ice cream were the only things suitable for a food related period metaphor? Fay Ripley says otherwise.
“Basically, I thought it was because I had eaten Coco Pops for my breakfast, and it had come out of my body. I ran downstairs crying and everyone said ‘what’s wrong?’ and I said ‘my cereal’s come out in my pants!’. To be honest I’ve never been able to eat Coco Pops since,” she told Action Aid.
4. Miley Cyrus, revealing why Hannah Montana never wore white trousers again
These days, Miley is all about being in touch with your natural femininity - nipples, pubes, et al. But back in the Hannah Montana days, she wasn’t so cool about getting her period.
“It was so embarrassing, but I couldn’t leave,” she told Marie Claire. “And I was crying, begging my mom, ‘You’re going to have to put the tampon in. I have to be on set.'”
5. Tina Fey, confirming that sanitary towel adverts are bullshit
You can always rely on Tina Fey to serve up some female realness, and the description of starting her period in her book is all kinds of genius.
“I was ten years old,” she wrote. “I had noticed something was weird earlier in the day but I knew from commercials that one’s menstrual period was a blue liquid that you poured like laundry detergent onto maxi pads to test their absorbency. This wasn’t blue, so…”
6. Kate Winslet, revealing that Titanic could have had a WHOLE different ending
As traumatic as the second half of Titanic is, at least there wasn’t any blood involved. But err, that could have all been very different according to Kate Winslet.
She told Rolling Stone: “There were days when you’d just think, ‘Oh, my God, I’ve got my period and I can’t get in that freezing-cold water today.’ … I remember standing up and saying to everyone, ‘Listen, if it suddenly looks like Jaws the movie, it’s my fault.’”
7. Lena Dunham, putting period-related woes into perspective
Next time you’re cursing the God of Women for her reign of crampy terror, spare a thought for the struggle that Lena Dunham shared on Instagram once.
“When paparazzi follows you but you're not even mad cuz you love your look and the chance to show off the leather skirt Jemima [Kirke] lent you,” she wrote. “And anyway, you've had your period for 13 days and the inauguration is in 10 so this is the least of your f***ing problems #bleedforthis.”
8. Khloe Kardashian revealing that Rob is totally #blessed
Thought life as a Kardashian was all fun and games? Spare a thought for Rob, as Khloe revealed this fairly hilarious fact about him on her blog: “Kim and I were both with Rob when we first got our periods…
“It probably scarred him for life! He can pretty much handle anything now — he’s totally going to be that husband buying tampons for his wife.”
9. Sarah Silverman, managing to perfectly sum up the experience in a haiku
Why express your feelings and emotions about your period when you could turn it into some expressive poem a la Sarah Silverman, who revealed her latest artistic works on Twitter.
“Menstrual Cycle Haiku: Crime scene in ur pants. Ain’t no man could handle that. Maybe a marine.”
10. Margaret Cho, becoming our spirit animal for heavy days
Get ready to relate more than you’ve ever related in your life, thanks to Margaret Cho. “I am the worst when it comes to period stains,” she told Huffington Post. “That is why I never move because my mattress is so so so so stained that whenever I change the sheets it just looks like a murder scene. I’m serious. Somebody should put crime scene ‘do not cross’ tape up…
“My periods are heavy, long, arduous — old furniture and books and records come out. Gold coins and anchors and treasures and lace and shoes. It’s like a big clearance sale. Everything must go!”
11. Amy Schumer revealing who she was wearing at the Emmys
When asking Amy Schumer exactly who she’d chosen to wear on the Emmys red carpet, E! got more than they bargained for with her real af answer. ”Vivienne Westwood, Tom Ford shoes, and an O.B. Tampon.”
12. Katy Perry swiftly shutting down any pregnancy rumours
After being plagued by rumours that she was secretly expecting a baby, Katy Perry took to Twitter to drop the ultimate truth bomb. “Ur gonna make me cry, maybe that's my period tho,” she wrote. "THAT’S RIGHT I'M BLEEDING. Fact. Better luck next month peepz.”
13. Jessica Biel, admitting that even some glam accessories couldn’t improve her first period
Unfortunately, first periods don’t get any more glamorous even when you’re destined for great things. Jessica Biel confirmed it, telling Glamour: ”I was in a school play, wearing a grey beard and this pad the size of a skateboard and thinking, What is happening to me?"
14. Gigi Hadid confirming that she don’t need no push up bra
Find that your boobs all of a sudden become MASSIVE when your Big P comes around?
Gigi Hadid knows about that all too well, “My boobs are small right now,” she said in a Vogue interview. “They get really big when it's, like, that time of the month."
- Words by Lucy Wood.
Now that you've experienced all of that, how about letting Sophie Kasaei tell you all about her first ever period? Hooray.