13 Awkward Moments Anyone Who's Ever Been On A First Date Will Relate To
Excuse us while we die of cringe.
Dating. If you don't want to end up cold and alone, we'll going to have to do it at some point, but that doesn't make it any easier.
Behold the 13 most awkward scenarios that anyone who's ever been on a first date will no doubt have experience...
Deciding where to go
Potential minefield, usually involves a pass-the-Buck style routine similar to this one:
Them: "I don't mind where we go, you choose."
You: "Oh no really, I’m easy, wherever you want to go is fine."
Crap, now you've just told them you’re easy.
Having nothing to wear
Do you go casual or fancy? Heels or boots? Shirt or relaxed tee? Turning up looking like you're ready for the opera when they’re in cool dungarees and a stripey tee isn't the ideal.
Getting there first
And having to scroll increasingly desperately through every social media account you possess so that you look busy and important.
Recognition (if tinder or blind date)
Nothing makes the insides want to curl up and die more than the question ‘excuse me, are you my date?’ being met with a confused ‘errrr, no?’. Scanning the room desperately trying to work out if that guy over there is what ol’ tinder-pants looks like without a hat - equally awkward.
One kiss, two kisses, hug, handshake?!?!? Goddamit why do we not have a standardised form of greeting like those French folk?
One of you going for the double kiss while the other is already stepping away… the stuff of red-cheeked nightmares.
Deciding you don't fancy them 2 minutes into the date
And then having to sit through the next 2 hours knowing it's a complete waste of your time. You shaved your LEGS for this, jeez.
Realising you *REALLY* fancy them 2 minutes into the date
And then entering a spiral of self-doubt as you try and work out if they like you too. Was that ‘funny’ story really funny? Was it a bit much to tell them you want their babies?
Both going to speak at once
Let’s face it - you're both a bit nervous, and nerves = stepping all over each other’s conversational toes. ‘You go first…’ ‘no, you go first’. Note: this is more awkward when what you essentially interrupted them to say was ‘do you like milk?’. True story.
When you let slip that you stalked them just a little bit on social media
Them: ‘I just found out my aunt is getting a divorce’
You: ‘Sharon or Deborah?’
What to order
You don’t want to go for the most expensive thing just in case they think you think they’re paying, but you REEEEALLLLLY want that steak. But then again the linguine is also a no because you’ll end up slurping it all over your chin like a toddler learning to feed itself. Urgh.
Eating and speaking at the same time
Look nobody wants to speak with their mouth full, but frantic chewing and circular hand gesture to indicate frantic chewing while silence stretches on is SO not the one.
The paying the bill minefield
Do you split or do you not? What's the protocol these days? What do they want to do? Are they just saying that? How many times do you both do the ‘it's fine I'll get it’ / ‘no no we’ll split it’ / ‘no really i’ve got it’ before you - and the waiter standing ready with the card machine - die from awkward?
The GOODBYE (almost worse than the greeting)
Hug? Chaste kiss on cheek? Full on smooch? Which one wHICH ONE???
- By Lizzie Cox.