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Just Some Stuff You Probably Never Knew About Pubes

Hey, you clicked on it. Not us.

The chances are you’re probably not sitting down to your avocado toast and having a in-depth discussion with pals about pubes. Or maybe you do, who knows.

But there’s actually way more interesting stuff to the phenominon of public hair than you could ever have imagined. Hey don’t look at us like that - you’re the one who clicked on this weird article.

Those curly little critters aren’t exactly a hot topic of conversation between friends, but we all have them. Whether you then choose to wax ‘em off, style them up or leave them au naturale is totally down to you.

Alright, so you might not be bringing this one up at the dinner table, but here’s a load of oddly interesting stuff worth knowing about pubes. Yep.

1. Your pubic hair is basically your own bodyguard

Science is pretty clever, so your pubic hair is definitelynot just sitting there for no reason. It's basically a personal bodyguard for the soft tissue of your genitalia.

Its primary function is to protect your bits and pieces, because having all that good stuff covered in hair makes it a whole lot harder for bacteria, infection and viruses to get close enough to strike.

2. But it’s actually multi-purpose useful

Not only are pubes the tiny, protectiveninjas you've been looking for for your vaginal opening or other, but they have a few other important uses too.

Pubic hair (before you shave it all off, anyway) acts as a friction stopper, to make sure that a little bump and grind (and less sexy scenarios) doesn't lead to any skin surfaceinjuries.

3. Most of us are doing some pube styling

Whether you're bald as a Mitchell brother down there, or whether you're just doing a little bit of hedge pruning, you're not alone. In fact, the majority of women are opting for some sort of hair removal.

A study published by JAMA Dermatologyfound that a huge 84 per cent of womenhave opted for some sort of hair removal,with a big 62 per cent choosing to whip the whole lot off.

Of course, that doesn't mean YOU have to. You do you.

4. Your pubic hair can put you in danger(ish)

STOP. STEP BACK. PUBE DANGER AHEAD. The amount of injuries from shaving down there is on the rise, mainly thanks to not really being able to see what you're doing, and not being able to control the razor too well.

In fact,pubic hair grooming injuries increased by a whopping FIVE times between 2002 and 2010. Be careful out there, it's a dangerous world.

5. No matter what yours looks like, it’s probably not this bad

Not too sure whether this is an accolade to be proud or ashamed of, but the longest ever pubic hair to go down in history was 28 inches long. For reals.

It belonged to a woman named Maoni Vi from Cape Town, and it wasn't her only talent to report. She also had an armpit hair that measured 32 inches, so that's cool.

6. Luckily, it's very unlikely that your pubes will get that long

For most people, pubes are kind of like eyelashes. It's not the deep and meaningful metaphor it sounds like - they both just grow to a short length, stop growingand then fall out on their own.

The average length of your pubesall dependent on genetics, so you probably don't have to worry about braiding them, putting them in pig tailsor adding a flower crown.

7. It is actually possible to go pube-bald

As if the looming passage of time wasn't enough to worry about with its blessings of grey hair, deep set wrinkles and an empty future, you might lose all your pubes too.

Going pube-bald is totally a thing that could happen.During the menopause, the decrease in womens' sex hormones leads to a thinning and slowing of hair growth, so it nearly always becomes sparser with age. GREAT.

8. No worries though, because pubic hair transplants are a thing that exist

Yep, in some parts of the world people really are paying good money to up the volume of hair in their pants and undergoing hair transplants for their crotch.

It's particularly popular over in South Korea, where more pubic hair is an attractive turn on and they're at the forefront of cosmetic surgery proceedures. Transplants are on the rise in the US, too.

9. Periods and pubes just aren’t a good combo

Not too sure why anyone would hate themselves enough to do this, but if you're contemplating the idea of making your period even MORE of a funfair of joy by giving yourself a bikini wax, step away from the strips.

Hair removal is proven to be more painful while you're on your period.

Your whole genital area is way more sensitive to the touch, and you're actually more sensitive to pain overall while you're bleeding from your vagina. Which is just great, really.

10. The Victorians had some interesting hairy habits

Some people choose to wear their pubes in a heart shape. Some dye them bright pink. Some encorporate them into a creepy tattoo. But none of that is half as weird as the Victorians' pube techniques.

In the 19thcentury, women shaved off their whole lot of pubic hair to avoid lice infestation and instead replaced it with a merkin, which is basically a pubic hair wig. Fancy.

They'resometimes still used in porn.

11. Pubes used to be the perfect souvenir

Thinking of spending a small fortune on the perfect birthday present for bae? Stop right there, because you're already holding the ideal, unique, super special and personal gift. PUBES.

In 18th and 19th Century Britain, people often collected the pubic hair of their lover. C'est tres romantique, and some particularly proud boyfs and girlfs would even wear it on their hat as a badge of honour.

'Scuse us while we vom.

12. Your drapes might not match the carpet

Ever wondered why you can be blessed with a beautiful blonde head of hair, firey red locks or light brunette tresses and still be rocking dark hair down there? Well, wonder no more.

It's all down to the melanin in your body, which is theprotein that gives hair its color. The amount of melanin you posess varies acrossdifferent areas of the body, so for some people the hair on the scalp, underarms, limbsand crotchcan be different shades.

13. Getting rid of ‘em takes a whole lot of time

If you're looking for some facts that'll leave you feeling thoroughly bummed out by beauty standards,a woman reportedlyspends an average of 58.4 days in her lifetime removing pubic hair over a period of just under 54 years.

Not only that, but if you're a woman who's into removing herpubes then you'll spend an average of $23,000 on waxing, or $10,000 on shaving.

Alternatively, you could leave it alone and be rich af.

'- Words by Lucy Wood'

'Now that you're fully educated on pubes, how well do you know your way around the humble uterus..? Let's find out:'

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