14 Things Guaranteed To Happen On Your First Friend Holiday
It's basically a right of passage
You’ve bought enough bikinis to wear a different one every day for the rest of your life, you’ve packed shoes that you definitely won’t actually wear, and you’re totally ready to spend the next two weeks complaining about it being way too hot.
Yep, the bags are packed and it’s finally time to conquer that important right of passage - a big holiday with your BFFs.
Ahh, it’s so close that we can almost smell the dodgy plane food.
But what can you really expect from your first ever vacay with friends? Other than sunburnt shoulders and an occasional tactical vom, of course.
Whether you’re jetting off to sea and sunshine, or whether it’s gonna be a tent in a drizzly British field for a few days, here’s everything that’s guaranteed to happen to you guys while you’re there.
1. You will discuss your planning in great detail in a group WhatsApp.
Palm tree and sunshine emojis at the ready because you’re gonna need them. In the run up to your friend holiday, your phone will be constantly blowing up with restaurant suggestions, must-see sights and most importantly, who’s packing what...
Someone take the adaptor, someone take the hairdryer, someone take the mozzie spray please. You've only got hand luggage and you need to use it wisely.
2. But you will still manage to forget something very important.
Despite the fact that your phone has been constantly vibrating for the past six weeks thanks to the aforementioned lit group chat, it’s a total given that you’ll all still manage to forget something pretty major.
Suncream? Oops. Straightners? Ah... Tablets for when one of you inevitably gets the runs? Nah. ‘Omg will there be towels?’
NOPE, and all of these have been left on your bedside table at home. Nice one.
3. There’ll be some passive aggressive comments about who owes what.
In any friendship group, there’s always one guy or gal who takes the lead role and becomes the designated booker-of-activities, running themselves into hundreds of pounds of debt.
The flights, the airport transport and the hotel are probably all reserved in their name, and collectively you owe ‘em about ten million pounds overall.
Cue a few arsey messages about never paying them back, and a few arsey ones questioning the maths. Awks.
4. You will have to arrive at the airport at about 3.45am
You probably think you’ve already seen your pals at rock bottom at some point in your friendship timeline, but no one’s seen you at your worst ’til that early morning flight.
You're all at your worst in the wee hours of the morning, wearing an enormous hoodie, clutching a coffee, hair scraped into a bun and wondering why the eff you all booked these early morning flights.
Oh yeah, ‘cos they were the cheapest. Obviously.
5. You will wear each other’s clothes.
After weeks of meticulous outfit creating for each separate day and night of the trip, it'll soon become apparent that your wardrobe isn’t quite gonna go according to plan.
Opening your suitcases will turn into one giant mountain of clothes after the first get ready session, and before long you’ll be wearing someone else’s dress, someone else’s shoes, someone else’s jewellery and maybe your own undies at a push.
Sharing is caring, pals.
5. You will take literally SO many photos - most of them gross.
Everyone knows that a true friend is a friend who takes multiple candid snaps of you with a variety of lighting, angles and locations to keep your holiday Instagram game as strong as possible.
So sure, you’ll get a few good ones, but it’s pretty safe to assume that the majority of your holiday snaps will involve you looking like a sweaty thumb and doing something really weird.
Look forward to spending three hours de-tagging yourself when you get home.
6. You will do a trip to the supermarket for weird food
It goes without saying that your entire holiday will probably revolve around food - but y'all have probably only got the budget for one or two nights at a fancy restaurant.
Instead, you're guaranteed to hit the local supermarket to stock up on the foreign version of your fave essentials.
Cooking pasta and instant noodles in your hotel room might sound like a thrifty plan - but another guarantee? You will survive entirely on Lays and Fanta Limon for the entire trip anyway.
7. Someone will inevitably get too drunk on one massive night out.
Going on holiday is all about letting your hair down, but there's ALWAYS gonna be one member of the gang who let's their hair down so much that they but lose their wig. And their dignity.
Cheap fishbowls, pre-drinks and hotel drinking games are an excellent idea...
Until someone obviously gets horrifically drunk WAY too fast, falls asleep on the beach, sicks up their margherita pizza and has to be piggy backed home by 10pm.
8. The mum/dad of the group will make themselves known.
You probably already know who the 'sensible' one in the squad is, but the first friend holiday is their chance to thrive like never before - mainly thanks to all of the activities they can be in charge of.
Thought you were in for a week of doing absolutely nothing but lying by a pool and eating chips? Think again.
You've got a local town bus tour at 10am, wine tasting at 1pm, jet skis at 3pm and the restaurant is booked for 7pm. YAY ORGANISED FUN.
9. Someone will get way too up close and personal with a gross human.
Ahh, it's always gonna happen. After a few, extra sugary 241 Sex On The Beach bowls, that extremely sunburnt boy from Birmingham in a short sleeved checked shirt and camo shirts suddenly looks hella cute.
And you can't just stand back and watch one of your closest friends share a short-lived romance with such a hunk.
You obviously have to cheer the entire time, and then take a ridiculous amount of photos with you giving them a thumbs up in the background. That's just the law of friend holidays.
10. You will all have to gang up together against creepy men.
Nothing makes a gang of girls unite together more than the onslaught of creepy blokes who flock towards you all on a night out.
You're just trying to live your life and do the Macarena, and they will NOT leave you alone.
You'll inevitably have to steer clear of a handful of waiters who want to take you home on their quadbikes, but all of the creepy winking, gross air kisses and awkward 'You are beautiful' whispers will only make you stronger as a team.
11. There will inevitably be at least one moment of tension.
Stick a whole group of mates together in one tiny (probably bunk bed-based) hotel room and you're asking for trouble.
You can be the best friends in the world, but throw in hangovers and sunburn and there's still always gonna be that one time where things get a tiiiiny bit tense.
It could be over splitting the bill, it could be someone vomming into someone's bikini top, or it could be someone telling you a walk to the beach will take ten minutes when it actually takes two hours. The holiday spat is guaranteed to happen, but it'll all blow over before you know it.
12. Someone will 100 per cent get lost.
Every gang of friends has that one person who mysteriously disappears on a night out for a few hours, and it's no exception just because you're in a foreign country.
That sudden realisation of 'hang on... where's she gone?' is always one that'll make you do an epic eye roll and have a few mini palpitations, but don't worry - they'll turn up with a kebab and one shoe later on.
13. You will develop a holiday song.
Even when the holiday is over, there'll be one song that reminds you of it for the rest of your life.
Spoiler alert: if you're going on holiday in 2017, it's probably gonna be 'Despacito.'
When the sunshine is a distant memory, you're back wearing thermal knickers for the UK weather and your tan has faded back to a pale transparency, you'll still all scream 'OMG IT'S OUR SONG' whenever it's played on a night out.
14. You will still be talking about it in ten years time.
Just remember: what happens on your first friend holiday stays on your first friend holiday, and as soon as you're home you'll miss every single second of it.
Words by Lucy Wood
Now that you know what to expect, how about a watch of Sophie Kasaei and Joel Corry playing Mr & Mrs?