Posts Only People Who Are Obsessed With Their Star Sign Will Understand
Are you amazed every time you read your horoscope (and totally freaked out when it’s literally 1000% describing your life and all of your secrets within it)?
Do you read into your crush's zodiac sign just to see if the astrology gods have decided you’re the perfect match? Do you find any excuse to blame your behaviour on Mercury being in retrograde?If you're nodding to all of the above, then these are all for you:
When your horoscope is always SO accurate.It’s actually pretty freaky.
SERIOUSLY HOW DO THEY KNOW?
Who needs to check if your BFF is still alive when you can just check their horoscope?Susan’s going through some challenges at work but things will take a positive turn at the weekend. Good on you, Suse.
Scorpio? BOY BYEEEEE.Your ultimate relationship compatibility decision maker.
When your horoscope confirms that your love life is non-existent in the near distant future...I’mma ignore the stars this month and choose my own destiny, like Britney. *Goes on tinder*
The ultimate decider for the Harry Potter fanatic.SLYTHERIN?! Ssssssss’no thanks.
When you don’t agree with the hard truths your horoscope has delivered to you this week...As Leo said, "I DEFY YOU STARS!".
When you can finally blame your level of pettiness on your zodiac personality.Which is Mrs Petty of Petty Street, Pettyland, Pettyville. Yup, you're the grown ass man goddamit.
“Check my horoscope? No… I think it’s all a load of BS to be honest.”Errr, this date ends here Brad.
When you know exactly who to blame based on when they were born.Because we all know Libra’s have the tendencies of a sociopath.
WHY ASTROLOGY GODS WHY?!?!What’s the point of going any further?
OMG you are a FIRE SIGN and what do people EVEN want from you?
When you can get away with blaming your behaviour on your zodiac sign *Clenches fists*Don't blame me, Mercury is in retrograde people!
No sarcasm appreciated here thanks.Pfffft.
See? Told you they were 100% accurate.
Also shamelessly accurate at one point in our lives.
If they could create a new sign, this one would be our soulmate <3
When you don’t need no horoscope to tell you how much you’re smashing life.Gurrrrrrrrrl keep doing your thang.
I’mma let you finish, but….
The ultimate decider for some of the more important things in life.Secretly you all wanted to be the masterpiece conspiracy that is Poot.
Were you born to be lounging around all day eating dog treats or rhyming kodak with kodak?You didn't know how much you needed to know the answer to this until now.
When nothing will stop you from checking your horoscope.But until that day you'll NEVER stop…
Now check out Hannah Witton's advice for sorting your biggest sex and relationships questions...