The 15 Stages Of Results Day
Yes, getting your results is the worst. But remember, everybody else is probably feeling exactly the same way as you.
In a grand list of totally awful things that you can’t avoid but would rather shave your head than go through, the day you find out your results is pretty high up there.
But while it’s important to remember that grades aren’t everything and you shouldn’t place unnecessary pressure on yourself, it’s safe to say that most people are feeling just as awful as you – and here’s the proof.
These are the 15 stages everybody goes through on results day…
1. Lying awake at 3am and wondering why you even went to school
And then remembering, oh right, it’s because it’s compulsory.
2. Having breakfast at 6am because you’ve essentially been up for 3 hours already
But that doesn’t mean a second, bigger breakfast won’t be happening later, because it will. We’re pretty sure that’s why brunch was invented.
3. Trying to have a rational conversation with your mum without spontaneously combusting
Not being funny, but why is she acting like she’s getting HER exam results back? BLOODY MUMS.
4. Getting approximately 17,000 texts from distant relatives asking how you did
“I’m not sure how I’ve done yet, Auntie Val, but I can assure you that if I’ve done badly I’ll be too busy reconsidering all my life choices to get back to you.”
5. Jumping every time your phone vibrates
You didn’t even sign up for electronic results, but for some reason you feel like the exam board have tracked down your number just to make fun of you.
6. Driving to school and feeling like you’re driving to your own funeral
Your mum’s gone quiet now, hasn’t she? God, she can’t handle this stress. She’s really starting to regret buying all those ‘well done’ banners from Poundland yesterday.
7. Feeling a bit gross about turning up to school in the summer
And then also being a bit sad that this is the last time you and your year will all be here, together, at the same time. Eck.
8. Acting overly fine with your friends while your insides are turning to mush
“Ha ha, I totally would’ve forgotten it was results day today if my mum hadn’t reminded me ha ha ha”.
9. Bargaining with God in your head in order to get that B in Maths
You can promise you’ll never write an essay the night before it’s due 400 times, but we all still know it’s a lie. Yes, even God. He knows.
10. Queuing up for your envelope and saying ‘absolutely eff this’
Suddenly you’re planning what you’re going to do with all your free time now that you definitely won’t be going to college.
11. Trying to stay positive in front of your favourite teacher and feeling like you’ve totally betrayed them
Will they quit teaching if you get a D in History? Probably not, but it’s a possibility.
12. Having to read your exam slip right in front of your parents
And because you’re trying so hard not to give anything away, you’re literally not reading the grades in front of you.
13. Realising you actually did alright and then convincing yourself you’re just reading the paper wrong
“Is this a B or a D with a weird stain on it?”
14. Having a nice little moment of celebration with your friends who have also managed to stay alive through this whole experience
Sure, there might be a few dodgy grades between five of you, but look, you’re all still you, and nobody suddenly has a great big sign on their forehead that screams ‘I didn’t do as well as I should’ve’.
15. Going back home after it’s all over and feeling well anti-climactic about the whole thing
So yeah, that’s done. What next? Well, A-levels probably. And trust us, those are WAY worse than GCSEs. You’re welcome!