Staying Friends With Your Exes Means You Might Be A Psychopath
Or a narcissist. So that's good.
If you're one of the few of us who has managed to get through the heartbreak and dramas of a break up without feeling the need to attach a print out of their face to a dartboard and chuck every sharp object you can find at it, then well done you.
However, you're not quite off the hook after all, as being able to stop yourself reacting like this might also mean that you're a psychopath - at least according to a new study from Oakland University that claims that if you actively stay friends with your ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends, you might also be more likely to display narcissistic or even 'dark' personality traits.
While staying friends with an ex can be tricky, Mail Online reports that the study - titled "Staying friends with an ex: Sex and dark personality traits predict motivations for post-relationship friendship' - found that people who already display 'dark personality traits' in life generally and who do stay friends after a relationship, often do so for strategic reasons that benefit them directly and not necessarily because of emotional ties linked to valuing having the person in question in their lives.
Of course this doesn't mean you are definitely a psychopath if you do stay friends as the study found the main reason for staying friends is emotional attachment, but if you already do display 'dark personality traits' (or narcissitic tendencies at the slightly less extreme end of the scale), wanting to stay friends is probably more likely to be linked to power play and not sentimentality.
Checking into these findings, Broadly contacted narcissism expert Dr Ton Feretti (really, that's his job), who agreed with these findings.
"Narcissists hate to fail or lose, so [they] will do what they can to maintain some connection if they didn't make the choice to end it," Dr Tony notes. "They can experience narcissistic injury when rejected by a partner and have difficulties letting it go or healing from it."
"Narcissists have a tremendous amount of pride and can't accept others being with their ex," he adds, concluding that these personality types: "may stay connected to [to exes in order to] have access to valuable resources. They also have inside information about their exes vulnerabilities and weaknesses that they can exploit and manipulate which gives them a sense of power and control."
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