Traces Of Literal Human Poop Have Been Found In Coca-Cola
So that's great.
It's genuinely awful news for anyone with a coca-cola obsession, because not only are you drinking the equivalent of three teaspoons of sugar per can, but there's now the added ingredient of actual human crap to take into account too. Perfect.
The incident that'll have re-thinking your beverage of choice occured after police in Nothern Ireland discovered human faeces had made its way into a shipment of cans at the companies manufacturing plant.
According to the Guardian, the poop-containing cans were only discovered after the human waste accumulated to such a point it actually clogged up the production machines.
Crikey. We dread to think how much poop would be necessary to do that.
This is naturally all a bit of a PR nightmare for Coca-Cola, who are keen to distant themselves from the incident.
"The problem was identified immediately through our robust quality procedures and all of the product from the affected production was immediately impounded and will not be sold", they shared in a statement. "This is an isolated incident and does not affect any products currently on sale."
While the company have assured consumers that there's absolutely no chance the coke can on your desk has a dash of crap in it, the official inquiry into the situation is still in its "early stages."
To help shunt the investigation along, we've handily summed up our major concerns: Why is there poop in the vicinity of the production line? How did it get into the actual cans? And how many people must be crapping in the machine to clog up the entire system?
So many unresolved questions.
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